Tuesday, June 13, 2006

my new banner

Becky (aka Joyful Mother) helped me create my new blog banner.  She has a graphics website where she offers banners and other graphics as purchase wear.  Go check her out!

Jun 13, 2006 7:55:34 AM | bloginess

3 Comments

Sallie

I love your new header! Very nice! I especially like the wavy/pathy quote. :-)

Posted by: Sallie | Tuesday, June 13, 2006 at 09:01 PM

Bethany

And I love it! So cute!

Posted by: Bethany | Thursday, June 15, 2006 at 09:24 PM

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it happened again I was surfing a few blogs. I stumble across cool women about my age or a little younger. I like what I see and read. Then it happens. I glance at the bios--"wife and mother of three"--then Envy with her long, pointy nails and deep green eyes knocks on the door. She wants to come in and set up residence in my heart. After the third or fourth blog by a young happy-wife-and-mother, I close all the tabs and wonder if I'll be able to find them again, but I know I can't stay on those sites any longer right now. In fact, I put the laptop to sleep and question whether surfing for new blogs is a good idea at all if I am going to keep encountering blogs by women five years younger than me that are married with children. How else can I keep Evny from knocking on the door? And, then, my heart turns to the only place where I can find refuge. The one place that without a doubt I can receive solace. "Oh Daddy-God, I need you." In the moments that follow my cry for help, I am reminded of something I read a few weeks ago in Caroyln McCulley's book Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? (which at the moment is MIA, so I can't quote verbaitm). She pointed out that my greatest need is a Savior. And, since God has given me the gift of salvation, giving me a husband is a small task; moreover, I can trust Him so much and be so thankful that my greatest need of all--saving grace--has been taken care of. After reminding me of this truth, He whispered to my heart of hearts "I am God and there is no other. I am all-loving and all-powerful, all the time. Trust me." Ahh. What a great God we have. I am so thankful He interacts with us in a very real and personal way. I am glad He is so very trustworthy. I am eternally grateful for the free gift of salvation He has given to me. He is a grace-filled God, and I am a grace-needing sinner. Praise the Lord! He is slow to anger and abounding in love. Nothing is impossible for Him! (oh, and if you are a young happy-wife-and-mother, please know i rejoice for--not resent--you, but that doesn't mean i still do not struggle with the green-eyed monster of envy when i visit your blog and read your bio.)
PREVIOUS POST
envy, jealousy, and covetousness I first knew about the difference between jeaously and envy in seventh grade when we had a lesson on the difference in meaning between "I am jealous of you" and "I envy you." Jealous: afraid of losing something you already have--specifically affection or a position Envy: wanting something you don't have. The example our teacher used at the time was a girl and her boyfriend. The girl who has no boyfriend and wants one is envious of girls who have one. The girl who has a boyfriend and doesn't like other girls talking to him is full of jealousy. However, after my last post, I found an article on crosswalk.com entitled Why Not Me? A Single Woman's Struggle with Envy. The author, Carolyn McCulley, explains the difference between envy and covetousness. I didn't know about this third one and how it is different until now. And she is right. I probably should have used the word covet in my post yesterday--not envy. According to both her article and dictionary.com envy is longing with resentment towards the person who has what you desire, while coveting is longing for what someone else has. When I first read this, I actually proudly thought "oh that is good. I don't resent. Longing without resentment is better than longing with resentment. This is not so bad." Oh, how easily we can be deceived! Good thing I kept reading. Carolyn points out in her article that God deals with coveting what our neighbor has in the tenth commandmant. Basically, if you will recall with me, God tells His people "Thou shalt not covet." We are not supposed to covet--"wish, long, or crave for (something, especially the property of another person)." In other words, it is not "not so bad." It is sin. You know, it is easy for me to think that I am a "good girl" and for me to give off the image that I am a "good girl" to others. I do what I am "supposed to." I respect my elders. I don't do overtly "bad" things. I do a pretty good job staying away of the "things of the flesh" listed in Galations 5:19-21: sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin." Those are bad things, obviously. But, trust me, I still struggle with sin. If you are a careful reader (and click thru on scripture references) or if you have memorized this passage of scripture, you will know I left out two of the things in this list of "sinful nature" qualities: jealousy and envy. God lists envy right next to "participation in demonic activities" and "drunken orgies." It is easy for me to allow the hot tears of longing to flow down my cheeks as I hold a friend's newborn. They feel like they are justified...

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