Wednesday, May 06, 2009

confessions of a newlywed who surrived "extended singleness" #2 I vow never to make fun of others as they delight in "new love." I really appreciated the people who encouraged me and were excited for me when we were "falling in love." I am thankful for those who cheered on all the "foot-popping, birds singing, the world is a beautiful place" feelings associated with "new love." And, it really irritates me when people--especially younger-than-me-couples who married in their late teens early twenties--"poo-poo" (make fun of) the idea of "new love." It seems that they equate "new love" with "immature love" that only "young people who don't know any better" experience. Or they even think of new love as being fake. I guess I can understand that if all the "ooey-gooey," star-gazing love for them happened when they were young and immature that they would assume that the "ooey-gooey," star-gazing love is also immature. But it's not. It's a necessary building block for developing a lasting love. You have to "walk on air" before you can walk together on the solid ground of commitment. New love is exciting. It is delightful. It is fun. But, it is not immature. :) I like the way Ed Wheat talks about it in The First Years of Forever. He claims both new love (what he calls "belonging love") and "absolute love" "need to be at the heart of a relationship" and that the "two loves merge into one to bless [a couple's] new life together." Wheat further gives this advice for a "sure formula for a lasting, love-filled marriage: Enjoy the feelings of love and guard them well, but live by the facts of love." Like I said . . . we have to get to experience the excitement of new love first before we can build our lives on commitment and agape love. And, therefore, new love should not be made fun of or joked about in a way that puts down those that are living it. It is great and wonderful. In fact it is exhilarating! :) If you have had the privilege of experiencing new love you should count yourself blessed . . . not poo-poo the idea of it.
guojong and meishiang's wedding This past weekend, Lawrance and I had the privilege to attend our first Taiwanese couple wedding as a married couple. (We attended a wedding in Taiwan earlier this year . . . but both the bride and groom were American.) It was a sheer joy to watch these two friends--both believers--commit to living life together forever. The elder who helped them with their vows so totally STRESSED that this was a forever thing. He even made them take 10 seconds to reconsider their desire to marry and gave them a chance to back out guilt free if they wanted to. Because the churches here are small and because the wedding party is usually just one best man and one bridesmaid (in white too), usually the groom comes down the center aisle before the bride. So . . . here comes the groom . . . and the bride too . . . Lawrance was able to get the cute flower girl to smile for the camera. They repeated their vows together at the same time both facing forward. I'm glad they got to say vows at all though . . . because many times Taiwanese weddings have no spoken vows. He rolled her veil (a Taiwanese tradition) SO SLOWLY . . . it was obvious he was cherishing each moment. SO SWEET!!! The elder who led them in their vows, also had the privilege of stamping their (unofficial) marriage certificate. They honored their parents by giving them bouquets of flowers near the end of the ceremony. Then both sets of parents stood up, faced the wedding guests, and bowed in order to show their appreciation for the guests' attendance. What followed next were several group photos with the bride and groom front and center. :) And, finally, after much coaxing (from me and my hubby), we finally were allowed to get a photo of just the bride and groom. And, then, after some major begging, we were able to get a photo of the newlyweds kissing--well . . . at least of him kissing her on the cheek. Before we all headed off for the banquet, Lawrance and I were able to get a photo alone with our friends on their wedding day.

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