following an unknown path

yeah, but why TAIWAN? (Part 4)

This is the fourth installment of a multi-post series.  It is a chronological story of why I live in Taiwan (as opposed to any other "foreign country"), so if you would like to start at the beginning of the story, you can start with part one.  (Here are part two and part three).

So, we are up to the summer 1999, and I was on my way to Taiwan for a few months to help two churches in Hsinchu with a summer English camp (link is to a very old website I made in 1999 about the summer).

Before I left, my Chinese professor at DBU told me about an opportunity to be an exchange student for the 1999-2000 school year at a university in the north part of Taiwan.

After talking to my parents and much prayer, I decided this was a wonderful opportunity and should study in Taiwan. 

Below is a story ("Unseen Tremors") I wrote several years ago about the situation .

I called my friend’s number again, hoping this time she would pick up and not one of her parents [because they don't speak English]. After a few rings the phone was answered, “Wei?”

“Ellen?”

“Yes.” What a relief, it was her!

“Ellen, I can’t do it.” I wailed into the receiver, not even giving her a hello or how are you. The tears began to fall as I continued, “I just can’t do it. I want to go home at the end of the summer. It’s too much trouble—I have to fight for so much—visas, course numbers, a place to live. Plus, I miss my ministry and friends at school; I long for the comforts of home, the familiar-ness of America.” I continued to rattle off my complaints and worries to one of the only people who could understand me on this little island I now found myself living on. And all Ellen could reply was, “we just have to pray and trust God—isn’t that what you have taught me?”

How had I wound up sitting in a perfect stranger’s apartment on the other side of the world, calling a girl I had been discipling for almost a year to tell her I had just about lost my faith in the God that I was teaching her all about?

That night as I wrote in my journal I pleaded for God to show me who He was all over again. “Maybe I need to re-experience the size of my God—maybe I have no idea how big my God really is,” I scribbled into my journal before going to bed.

I continued to question my faith all summer; sending many emails across the ocean to my mother about how I had no clue as to what would happen to me in August, and about how much I just wanted to go home to something simpler and familiar and trusted. For the summer, I was living with a pastor and his wife in Taiwan, teaching a children’s English program at their church. Then beginning in August, I was to move to another city in Taiwan as an exchange student.

However, from where I was sitting, it looked like no real details had been worked out at the college. I still didn’t know how I was going to get my resident’s visa, where I was going to live, what classes I was going to take, and how I was going to pay for it all if my scholarships and financial aid were not approved for overseas study. Some of these are probably the same issues college students around the world worry about, but I was experiencing them over nine thousand miles from home, in a foreign country where the norms had changed, and in a unfamiliar language. To me, I was having the largest crisis of my life. I felt lost, abandoned, lonely, and afraid of the unknown.

In late July, I called Ellen, to tell her that I had decided to change my plane ticket from August of the current year to June of the next year. I confided in her that it was my way of showing God that I completely trusted Him to provide everything I needed for the coming year—when the summer ended, I would still be on the island. It was a gigantic step of faith for me.

Come August, I moved into the dorm of the university where I was to study. I cried as I said good-bye to the pastor’s wife, a stranger who had become a good friend—I was again entering a completely foreign world; this time with even less English speakers. My friend Ellen had already gone back to the States to study at our American university, so I was totally alone except for my three new Chinese-speaking roommates.

Since classes at the university had not started yet, I decided to tackle the book of Isaiah. I was fascinated by how God demonstrated His power in the Old Testament; I longed for that type of power in my life too. I began to pray for God to move mountains—He said He could in Isaiah.

By September, everything was coming together. My American university had approved all my scholarships and loans to carry over to my studying abroad, and the Taiwanese university had located a wonderful Chinese teacher. I was beginning to get used to my wooden bed, and my three roommates were reduced to only two. Things were still strange at times and new experiences abounded, but I no longer felt like it was the end of the world.

And then it happened—God demonstrated his power in the middle of the night on September 21, 1999!

“What’s happening?” I asked the night. Much to my surprise, one of my roommates responded, thankfully in English, “Earthquake!”

As I climbed out of bed onto the still trembling floor, I was relieved because I knew what was happening. The three of us stared out the dorm window into the darkness. As the earth below us shook again and girls in the other rooms screamed, I hate to admit it, but I chuckled. I stood watching the building across from us shake, and I thought, “God can really do it! He has the power to shake the mountains!” I was amused and thrilled with delight as I experienced firsthand His power over nature and over what I thought were sure foundations.

The next day almost every girl in the dorm went home—again, I was all alone. I was left with my English newspapers, a flashlight, and a battery operated radio. I spent the rest of the week searching the papers for pictures and stories about the biggest earthquake to hit Taiwan in a hundred years and listening to the English radio station as the death toll climbed.

We were without electricity and running water for many days. One evening I sat in the darkness doing nothing. I felt God probing my heart. He asked, “Amanda, how come when I shake the physical mountains of this world you can be amused and not terrified?”

“That’s easy Lord, because I trust You, the One who created them.”

“Then how come when the other foundations in your life that you think are solid began to quake you are afraid that I have left and am no longer in control?” I could not stop the tears that began to run down my face. He was so right. I had so longed to see His power and strength in an amazing way that I had failed to recognize how faithful He had been in the details of my life.

Aftershocks continued to shake the island for several weeks. Every tremor I felt brought a smile to my face. I now pray that when unseen tremors hit the other areas of my life, my faith will be like it was on that night: not fear, but rather amusement because I know the One who is in control of all the universe.

"For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,
but My lovingkindness will not be removed from you,
and My covenant of peace will not be shaken,"
says the Lord who has compassion on you.”
(Isaiah 54:10, NAS)

So, I lived in Taiwan for a year--from 1999 to 2000.  It was an incredible, life-changing event.  I learned so much Chinese, thanks to my roommates, other friends at the university, and of course an awesome teacher.  I learned about being alone but not being lonely.  I tried lots of weird foods.  I learned about trusting God (something I am ALWAYS learning).  I learned to be flexible and "go with the flow." 

Through the Holy Sprit, God changed my personality, changed my desires, changed my attitudes, even changed my taste buds and comfort zones; essentially He just changed ME!  And, they were all wonderful, wonderful changes that I now celebrate and couldn't imagine life without!! 

I love that He allows us to be different--that we don't have to stay the same.  He is such an awesome God!!  I love that He has compassion for us and cares about the details of our lives!!  He is such an awesome God!!

The next part of the story will talk about my move back the States to finish my BA and get my MA.

All pictures in this post were taken from 1999-2000 and can be found on my very first website, which is now 7 years old.  Can't believe it was really that long ago!!

update on my taiwanese mom

According to her flesh-and-blood daughter my Taiwanese mom, who is/was suffering from depression seems to be doing better.  I have included part of an email from her flesh-and-blood daugther (my dear friend) below: 

My mom seems much better now than she was a few weeks ago.  Now she is able to do housework and cooking.  She is like "the normal her" now.  But when I asked her "Are you feeling better?" She would reply, " No.. not really."  Especially when talking about small decisions about the new house, she would feel depressed.  Now, she hangs out with my big aunt a lot.  She would go anywhere with my aunt when she gets a chance to because she doesn't really like to stay at home.     So.. really don't know what to do, but I am very thankful that she is getting better.   

Please say " Thank you"  to the friends you sent the praying lists to for me if you get a chance to. It means a lot to me and my family.

Please continue to pray for this family.  I would love to see the mom and brother become Christians!  Please ask for the Dad and daughters---that they will continue to grow in Christ and fearlessly make known the Gospel.

burning money

Today as I walked home from work, I saw something that takes place twice a month in my neighborhood.  It happens at the first and the middle of each lunar month.  Today's lunar date is Feb. 16--so it is now the middle of the month.

In front of about two-thirds of the homes and businesses in my neighborhood there will little "card tables" set up with offerings--snacks, fruits, wine, and insence.  Then next to these tables were cans with hot flames licking the air. 

Some of the cans were just burning out front with no one around them.  Others had people standing next to them still tossing in the "spirit money."  It is believed that by burning the money, it is able to enter the spirit world so that ancestors can buy things they need.

 

 

Please pray for the Taiwanese. 

home again

Well, I am home again--the Taiwan home that is. :)

The last two days I sat in a meeting listening to a humble man of God who has started multiple streams of multi-generational self-reproducing churches in East Asia.  We were trained to do the same. 

Like the Father of the son who was possessed by evil spirits my heart cries, "I do believe!  Help my unbelief!" 

There are so many reasons why it can't be done here through me . . . why it doesn't make sense . . . why it is impossible.  But we serve a God for whom nothing is impossible.  How small my faith is! 

One of the things the trainer said during this training time is that we are responsible to scatter seeds.  The more we scatter, the more fruit we will see.  But if we scatter thinly or selectively, we obviously will see less fruit.  I don't scatter (share my faith) enough.  I must be more fervent in telling those I know the reason for my hope in Christ.

And . . . considering that less than 2% of the Taiwanese people know Christ as Savior . . . well, I can be pretty sure everyone I encounter everyday does not know the Great News.  Oh, may the truth of the lostness of the people around me give me strength to boldly proclaim the story of my Lord.

leaving for hong kong

I leave tomorrow afternoon to go to Hong Kong for two days of intense evangelism training.  I am going with three other members of the Hokkien Harvest Mission Team. 

We get back midnight before classes start for me on Wednesday.  Oh my!!

Please pray . . . 

• for the four of us as we go to Hong Kong to learn better how to share Christ with the Taiwanese people. 
• for safety and our ability to communiate and get around in one of the most densely populated cities in the world. 
• that our hearts and minds will be ready to learn what God whats to teach and show us, and that we will once again be reminded of the lostness of those around us. 
• that I will not worry about my classes and the school year while I am at this training, and that my job (and witness at my job) will not suffer since this choice (to go and be trained at this time) places missions over teaching.

worship of the jade emperor

On the eve of the Eve of Chinese New Year (yes, that is the eve of the eve) the people of Taiwan worship the Jade Emperor.  From about 11:00 PM to midnight, every family sets up a "baibai" (worship) table.  These New Year baibai tables are similar to the bi-monthly baibai tables set up by the Taiwanese, except that the New Year tables have these long yellow streamers to be burned to the god, all the red papers to be hung over the doors in the home, and it is done in the darkness of night not at dusk.

For that hour, the people of a neighborhood will walk from home to home to compare the tables to see who has a bigger chicken and more goodies, to see who had a better year that year.  They will take a fist full of incense, hold it in front of their faces and bow to the god, then let the incense burn on the table. 

At about midnight, they will get out the "burning cans" (don't know their name) to offer the paper money and yellow streamers unto the Jade Emperor thanking him for the year past and hoping he will be happy with their offering so the year to come will be blessed too.

Please pray that the Taiwanese people will soon join together in neighborhood groups not to compare chicken sizes and worship a false god, but to share with each other what the King of kings and Lord of lords is doing in their lives as they join together to worship Him, the one true God.  Please pray for the salvation of the Taiwanese people--of whom over 98% do not know Christ as Savior.

www.flickr.com

happy chinese new year!!

The streets are full of cars and mopeds, and the outdoor day markets are full of people.    Shopping bags and bike baskets are full of produce and other goodies.  Red envelops are full of money, while homes are full of the hustle and bustle that comes with company.  However, most noticeably, the air is filled with a sense of anticipation, and the hearts of young and old alike are filled with expectation. 

Why?  Because today marks the beginning of the Chinese New Year Holiday!

 

"The Lunar New Year, which this year starts on January 29, is the biggest holiday in the Chinese-speaking world and  family reunions prompt arguably the biggest movement of humanity on Earth."*

And  I am joining in this big "movement of humanity."  I leave today to go visit the north part of Taiwan. God has blessed me with a "Taiwanese family;" this will be my third Chinese New Year with the Lin family. (Below is a pic of me with the Lin family, and close up of me with Lin MaMa both taken last Chinese New Year.)

I ask for your prayers for two things:

(1) That the anticipation and expectation that the people of Taiwan are experiencing in regards to Chinese New Year will one day soon pale in comparison to the anticipation and expectation they will have about the return of the Son of God.

(2) Please be praying for my Taiwanese family.  The father and twin adult daughters are all Christians, mom and brother are not.  Please ask for the God of Hope and Peace to set mom and brother free.

yeah, but why TAIWAN? (Part 3)

 

This is part three of a multi-post series, part one is here and part two is here.

Over winter break as a sophomore in college, me and my roommate decided to take winter break classes.  So we hung out in an empty dorm complex together for two weeks of mini-classes.  I started reading the short version of Hudson Taylor's biography.  He was the first missionary to inner China.  He dressed like the Chinese people--even with the long ponytail.  He also sacrificed much--wives and children in addition to physical items.  God was stirring my heart through reading Taylor's life and of his love for the Chinese people. 

I knew I needed to go to China. 

However, there were two organizations I could go with.  One I knew I could go to China, but the other I would check a box that said "send me anywhere you feel led you to send me" (which meant I could be serving in downtown Dallas--NOT A BAD thing at all, in fact I was doing that already every week.)  Point is I knew to be obedient I needed to go to China--so which organization do I choose?  (A) I know will send me to China or (B) can send me anywhere they wanted me to go.

I choose B.  Why?  Because every time I prayed, God was telling me to go with B.  It was another difficult decision.  It is always difficult to choose to trust a God I cannot see who doesn't write answers next to my questions for me in my journal. :) 

I think it was also difficult because I was sure God was telling me go to China and he was also telling me go with B.  However, what if B sent me to Mexico?  Did that mean they weren't listening to God?  Did it mean I was hearing God wrong?  My heart was not at rest even though I was being obedient.  My human-ness was still making me nervous and fearful.

Yet, when the assignment listing came from B, guess where Amanda was headed?  That's right: China.  God was in control.  I should have trusted Him and been at peace.  (It was a wonderful two months in China.  Again, many life changing events occurred.  Maybe I can write about that at another time.) 

Now, Amanda had decided China is where she should spend her life, not Taiwan.  She even talked to people who help place others in Asia.  A "high-up" from one organization told her, "if you can handle China, then China is where you should be.  The need in China is great." 

But did you catch the second word of this paragraph?  That's right, "amanda."  I just assumed that China is where I should go, where I should be.  That was the "hot spot" of the time--where all the action was taking place.  In addition, since I had spent two summers overseas, I had decided that I should stay in the USA this summer to take a few summer classes and spend time with my family doing "summer fun" things.

So, I had a surprise when I was walking to chapel one day in February or March of the following year (junior year in college).  The thought popped into my head: "Amanda, I want you in Taiwan this summer."  Oh my, the intensity of that desire was SO STRONG.  I HAD to go back to Taiwan!  So, all of chapel I planned and plotted and thought about how to get myself back to Taiwan.  I left with no plan.  I had no idea how I was going to do it. 

So, after chapel I went to the BSM (Baptist Student Ministries) council lunch.  The BSM director pulled me aside and said, "Amanda, during chapel I was meeting with a pastor and his wife from Taiwan.  They want to have a summer camp at their church this summer.  They are looking for students from DBU to go and help them.  During our conversation, I thought of you; would you be willing to go to Taiwan this summer?" OF COURSE I WOULD!

WHAT?!?!  You've got to be kidding me!!  How does God do that!?!  At the same time that I start to desire to go to Taiwan, my BSM director is talking to someone about summer missions in Taiwan, and I come to his mind!  Wow! 

Why on earth do I still worry about stuff?  Why do I still plot and plan?  Why is it still a struggle to choose B when I know that is what God has told me to do?  He is God of everything.  And I still doubt.  Oh, Father, please forgive me.

The next post will talk about how my summer trip turned into a year long taiwan adventure.  The pic above is of me with a friend in China in 1998.

yeah, but why TAIWAN? (part 2)

This is part two of a multi-post series, part one is here.

When I was in Taiwan that summer, many of the people with me kept talking about taking the new Chinese class when we got back to school.  I had a really had time with Chinese when I was in Taiwan.  I got tired of hearing it, and it sounded SO STRANGE to me.  Moreover, I just detested language learning in general.  I had already tried Latin for 2 years, Spanish for 1 year, and German for 1 year and was successful with none.  So, I was totally not interested in taking the new Chinese class when we got back to school.

However, on my heart, I kept sensing the need to sign up for the class.  So, once again, God and I had a conversation.  And I agreed with Him that I would sign up for the class under one condition: that it was still open.  You see, my friends also kept talking about how full the class would be and that they had registered early.  I thought my "bargain" with God was safe.

Well, when we got back to Dallas, the class was still open.  I sat there in my advisor's office with three different semester registeration forms filled out.  One had Chinese listed as a course and the other two did not (one with no foreign language and one with Spanish).  That was one of the most memorable moments in my life when I remember clearly deciding whether or not to be obedient to my Lord.  Well, I decided to be obedient and signed up for the Chinese course.

So, I started Chinese classes.  They were not easy, but they were fun.  And one thing that made learning Chinese so different than learning Latin, German, or Spanish is that I actually met people who spoke Chiense as their first language. 

In fact, I began to make many new friends from Taiwan and Hong Kong as well as other countries too.  I started looking for and intentionally making friends with international students on my campus.  Soon, I had more friends from Asia, Africa, and Europe than I did America. 

God was changing my heart.  He was showing me that people from other countries were just as human as I was--that we had more in common than we did not.  He gave me a gift--He allowed me to identify with them and to be able to relate to them in ways the "old Amanda" never would have.

Specifically, in regards to the Taiwanese culture, He allowed me to learn about it, try it out, taste it and experience it in extremely small doses in my own comfort zone.  What a wonderful blessing!!

In the next post in the series, I will talk about how I got to Asia the next two times.

yeah, but why TAIWAN? (part 1)

If you wanna know why I live in Taiwan, this post tells you the answer.  The post below begins a multi-post series on why Taiwan (as opposed to anywhere else overseas or even Amercia for that matter).

In 1996, I started college classes at Dallas Baptist University.  At that time, I was planning to be a freelance journalist (with the hopes to marry and be a stay at home mommy with a great felixable "at home" career).  I also wanted to live in an inner city apartment in order to do ministry in my apartment complex.  So, to prepare for the life path I had planned, I was a communication major and very involved in an inner city after school program in the heart of downtown Dallas.

Somewhere near the beginning of the spring semester (1997), I began to desire to go on a mission trip overseas.  In my head, of course that meant going to Africa or South America.  I talked it over with my mom, and she ok-ed the idea under the condition that it wasn't for the whole summer--she wanted to spend a little time with her college girl during the summer vacation time.

Her stipulation actually made the decision quite easy.  Every summer since 1996, DBU has sent a team of students to Taiwan for an English teaching mission trip.  The trip lasts one month.  Perfect.  Does Amanda even know where Taiwan is?  Nope.  Does she care?  Nope.  She just wants to tell people in a different country about Jesus. 

So, summer comes and Amanda goes to Taiwan.  Uh . . . wow!  What a "wake up" moment!  Life is so different on the other side of the planet.  It was actually a love/ hate relationship at first sight.  I hated the traffic.  I hated the neon lights that flashed all the time all over the place.  I hated not understanding everything that was being said.  I hated not being able to read.  I hated the fact that my neighbor's dog knew more Chinese than me.  I hated the food.  I hated feeling stupid because I couldn't communicate with the people around me.  But, I loved the people of Taiwan.  I loved teaching.  I loved sharing Jesus with my new friends.  I loved experiencing new things.  I loved having my ideas of the world be shattered. 

I was on a life-altering trip.  I didn't even know it.

Well, my 15 min of writing time are up . . . so the story will continue later. :)
The pic above is of me in Taiwan in 1997 testing out musical water bowls.

why live in taiwan?

After reading my post on whistling in Taiwan, Bethany asks some great questions about how I ended up in Taiwan.  And, while her questions are specifically about my master's degree and being here now, the answers would be the middle  of the story.

So, first I am going to share the "why of being" in Taiwan and then share the "why Taiwan." I figure it will take me a few posts to do this; I will just write for 15 min and then continue the story later linking them all together in the end.

Ok, so first, "why do I live in Taiwan?"  Well . . . we must first go back to a night long, long ago:

As we drove down LiuHe Street, the neon signs flashed strange looking symbols so different from anything I had ever seen before.  The driver of the car was teaching my friends how to say, “It tastes good,” in a harsh tonal language that I could not stand to hear and absolutely refused to speak. Suddenly a sinking feeling flooded my stomach; I could not tell if it was from the unidentifiable object that I ate for dinner or from my dislike for this strange place.

Almost nine years have passed since I sat in the back of that black Honda in Taiwan. Years filled with unique experiences, bouts of culture shock, and immense change. In these nine years, I have learned to enjoy and be a part of the Taiwanese culture so much that it is now my home away from home.

God has done an incredible thing, and I stand in awe. He has changed my heart’s desire so drastically that now living in Taiwan gives me great joy! I count it a privilage to be able to live here--there really is no where else I'd rather be at this time in my life!

You see, growing up in church, I knew we needed "missionaries," but I did not know that "regular" people still daily worship idols made of their own hands—images that cannot hear, cannot see, cannot speak, cannot understand.

The desire to live in Taiwan lies deep within; I desire to offer hope to the people of Taiwan—people who want success in life, people who crave peace, people who long to be loved, people who desire the best for their family, people who need Jesus, the One, True God.

The Lord’s heart for the nations, for the peoples of this world, is clear in Scripture.  I desire to be to Taiwan, not to make converts to a certain faith system, but to share with them a God who is able to set them free through faith in Jesus Christ, in order that they may also have the joy of worshiping my Father and may be able to rejoice in Him with me for time and for eternity.

If you wanna know why I ended up in Taiwan and not some other place, you can read the story starting with: "Yeah, but why TAIWAN?"

terrified of whistling

What sound sends shivers down your back, makes your heart beat faster, and speeds your breathing?  Is there a sound that strikes fear in your heart of hearts? 

Is it the sound of a sliver in the grass when you are gardening?  Is it the screeching of the brakes of the car right behind you?  Is it the scream of one of your children when they are in pain?  Is the sound of footsteps behind you in a dark parking garage late at night?

What about a praise song being whistled at dusk?  Would that sound strike terror in your whole being?  Would it give you goosebumps and make you fearful for the rest of the night?

If you are American, you are probably thinking right now that I am a little crazy saying that.  But, if you are Taiwanese, you know exactly what I mean. 

The sound of whistling after the sun sets is terrifying to the Taiwanese people who are lost.  They believe that hungry ghosts follow the sound of whistling much like a dog trails a scent in the woods.  Hungry ghosts are terrible, scary things in Taiwanese culture.  They bring curses and evils to people; they hunt for people to prey upon.  Thus, there is no whistling at night in Taiwan.

However, I often sing and hum when I am on my moped (those things don't come with radios--go figure).  When I dismount and walk in the underground parking garage towards the stairwell to my apartment, I tend to continue whatever I had been humming or singing by whistling--often enjoying the echo of the underground cement box and the sound of my voice.

If it is night, as soon as I do, I recall that whistling scares my neighbors.  Most of the time, I stop whistling and pray for my neighbors the rest of the way to my apartment.  Sometimes, I just change to singing and proclaim aloud the praise of the true God.  And, at other times, like tonight, I whistle louder, a proclamation that I do not fear the evil of this world.

The next time you catch yourself whistling at night, would you please remember the Taiwanese people and pray for their salvation? 

amanda's 2005: a month by month photoblog

I love recording life with snapshots--digital cameras have made this so fun and easy to do.

I am working on moving my photos from another online service to my flickr and also uploading new photos to flikr as well.  But, since this will be an ongoing project, I uploaded a few pics from each month in 2005 and descriptions to pictures will be added later.   

Below is one picture from each month of 2005.  There are many more in the flickr set.  It was hard enough picking "a few" from each month . . . even harder to choose just one.

January: With Corrina's family in Japan

Feburary: With Ellen for Chinese New Year

March: Dying Easter Eggs

April: Beginning ErHu Lessons

May: A trip to the beach

June: My Students Graduate!

July: Sam and I Dress Up at a Living History Museum

August: 5 of My Students from Taiwan Come to Texas

September: Smith Family Reunion

October: I Participate in a Speech Contest in Chinese!!

November: Sharing My Testimony at the Park

December: Merry Christmas from me and Gilby!

Don't forget to check the flickr set for a few more pics from each month!!

false gods

People all over this globe are worshiping false gods.  And I am not talking about TV, work, food, or football.  I am talking about physical idols representing false gods.

Check out this video of a worship song from India (a "Telugu folk song").  I found it while reading about a project to help India become more literate. 

How the people of this world are so blinded and living in darkness!

Oh how they need Jesus!