following an unknown path

there is hope

I was crying within 5 minutes of listening to this Focus on the Family program, and tears streamed down my cheeks for the rest of Ann Kiemel's talk.

She talks about her desiring to have a baby and her struggles with miscarriages and adoption.

Just a small taste . . .

I knew I had a choice.  I could make sorrow my friend or my enemy.  Sorrow could make me hard and cold and bitter or Sorrow could be my best friend and teach me things I had never learned before.  I reached out and took Sorrow's hand in that quite moment.  She removed all the sham and fluff from my life.  She taught me what it is to be real. She taught me what it really is to celebrate because only when you really know sorrow do you know how to laugh.  She taught me what it is to love; it is to be vulnerable.  It's to hold you hand out and to never hang on to anything.  It's to let Jesus take out or put in anything he wants, and it is to say yes.

If you are waiting for a husband or baby or struggling with sorrow, listen.  (On the Focus on the Family page click "listen now.")  It will be 15 minutes well spent.

HT: Kelly's Korner 

i delighted in the lord . . . and he gave me YOU

I love you Lawrance!!  I thank God daily for making you my husband.

What a privilege to walk life next to you, with you. What great joy is mine . . . all because God is kind and gave me to you and you to me.

Happy 1st  Anniversary, LaoGong!!

a day of rest and a thankful heart

Sunday, after worshiping the most high God and fellowshiping with our church family, Lawrance and I took a three hour nap.  I guess we were tired.  :)

When we woke up, Lawrance asked if he could invite me to the beach.  I said, "Yes!!  Let's go now, before the sunsets!!"

We got there and were actually surprised to see so many people there!  Last time we were there it was during the school year, and we were the only ones there. :) 

This beach is only about 8 minutes from our house . . . we should go there more often.  And it's cool because the sand is black.

So, here we are last spring and this summer . . . then just dating and now married 11 months . . .

God is kind! :) 

I am so thankful to my very generous AbBa Fu (Daddy God)  who has given me such a kind, considerate, patient husband who cherishes me, protects me, meets my needs, and invites me to go with him to the beach!! :)

living my dream (aka: doing my man's laundry)

Summer vacation is not here for me quite yet.  Grades are due this Friday.  And, Lawrance just started working full time two weeks ago (YAY!!  PTL for his new promotion from part-time teacher to director of the English program!!) .

Everyone keeps asking me what I'm doing for my summer break.  I reply "just being a housewife." 

Without exception every Taiwanese friend, student, and stranger I've had this conversation with then expresses their sympathies for me, trying to cheer me up.

What they don't realize is that I need no cheering up.  I am SO looking forward to the month of July where I get to be a full time housewife for the first time in my life.  I've already enjoyed these past two weeks of laundry and washing dishes . . . it's so much easier and more enjoyable when I can do it during my day as time allows and as my work for the day rather than as a chore I must squeeze in before going to work.

They don't get it.

 I don't know.  Maybe you won't either . . . maybe you think, "silly girl, wait to you've done ten (twenty, thirty) years of your man's dirty laundry--then we'll talk about the 'joy' you have then."

They also worry about me being lonely being home alone all day.  How could I possibly look forward to being home alone all day with nothing to do but take care of the home? 

Depending on the situation and/or depth of the relationship, I will remind them that not too long ago I was living alone all day everyday.  Now, I have someone to anticipate coming home to me.  Now, I get to eagerly wait for him to call me and return back to me.  It's WAY better than living alone 24/7. 

 And, crazy as it may sound, it is way more fun to clear the table, change the sheets, dust the furniture, or what-have-you when I know I am blessing someone else.  When it was just me living here . . . OH it was SO miserable "keeping house." 

I hated it with a passion. 

I secretly wondered if I'd even make a good wife.  My married friends were able to manage their households of 3 or 4 or 5 . . . . and me?  well, I was struggling with my little household of 1.  :( 

I know I wouldn't score perfectly in housekeeping 101 (I thank God my hubby is so patient and understanding), but I do know (again, crazy as it may sound) keeping house is a lot more fun and rewarding and joyful when I'm not the only one making the messes. ;)

So, yes, I totally look forward to a "boring" summer of being a stay-at-home wife.  I'll be honest: it almost feels as if I get to "play" at being a house keeping wife.  I'm all giddy and happy about it.  Is it weird that I feel that way?

And, actually, it feels like I'm getting to live my dream.  For the latter half of my 20's I dreamed about being married . . . I longed to have someone's socks to wash and underwear to fold.  

Speaking of . . . I think there's a basket a clean laundry awaiting me in the other room right now as I speak!

seeing the seasons

I miss seeing the seasons come and go.  Here, on this little topical island, the land of eternal green, there are very minuscule changes in the landscaping from winter to spring to summer to fall. 

We seem to always be able to enjoy bright flowers and green trees.  So, I'm not complaining . . . just missing the changes that mark time.

When I lived in a Taiwanese farming community, I enjoyed seeing the rice fields change. But, here in the city, there is nothing to see change. 

But then today, I saw it.  For the first time . . . a sign of a new season.  And it delighted my heart to no end.

The plumeria trees are blooming!!!! 

It is AWESOME to be able to "see" a change and claim "wow, summer is coming."  :)

confessions of a newlywed who surrived "extended singleness" #3

Sometimes I find myself thinking "I'm married!  I am married.  i AM married.  Me--i am MARRIED!"

It actually catches me by surprise, but it does make me smile.

confessions of a newlywed who surrived "extended singleness" #2

I vow never to make fun of others as they delight in "new love."  

I really appreciated the people who encouraged me and were excited for me when we were "falling in love."  I am thankful for those who cheered on all the "foot-popping, birds singing, the world is a beautiful place" feelings associated with "new love."

And, it really irritates me when people--especially younger-than-me-couples who married in their late teens early twenties--"poo-poo" (make fun of) the idea of "new love."

It seems that they equate "new love" with "immature love" that only "young people who don't know any better" experience.   Or they even think of new love as being fake. 

I guess I can understand that if all the "ooey-gooey," star-gazing love for them happened when they were young and immature that they would assume that the "ooey-gooey," star-gazing love is also immature. 

But it's not. 

It's a necessary building block for developing a lasting love.   You have to "walk on air" before you can walk together on the solid ground of commitment.

New love is exciting.  It is delightful.  It is fun.  But, it is not immature. :)

I like the way Ed Wheat talks about it in The First Years of Forever.  He claims both new love (what he calls "belonging love") and "absolute love" "need to be at the heart of a relationship" and that the "two loves merge into one to bless [a couple's] new life together."

Wheat further gives this advice for a "sure formula for a lasting, love-filled marriage: Enjoy the feelings of love and guard them well, but live by the facts of love."  Like I said . . . we have to get to experience the excitement of new love first before we can build our lives on commitment and agape love. 

And, therefore, new love should not be made fun of or joked about in a way that puts down those that are living it.  It is great and wonderful.  In fact it is exhilarating! :)

If you have had the privilege of experiencing new love you should count yourself blessed . . . not poo-poo the idea of it.

bicultural people seem happiest when . . .

Some one gets me!! Someone totally gets me!!

I found this quote while visiting the World Missions 101 Site last night. It SO resonates with how I feel . . . I've explained it before as being a milkshake.

“We can get out and learn to live in the new culture, and, in time, we will feel as at home in it as our own, possibly even more so. Something happens to us when we adapt to a new culture, we become bicultural people. . . .

In one sense, bicultural people never fully adjust to one culture, their own or their adopted one. Within themselves they are part of both. When Americans are abroad, they dream of America, and need little rituals that reaffirm this part of themselves—a food package from home, a letter, an American visitor from whom they can learn the latest news from `home’. When in America, they dream of their adopted country, and need little rituals that reaffirm this part of themselves—a visitor from that country, a meal with its food. Bicultural people seem happiest when they are flying from one of these countries to the other.

(“Crucial Dimensions in World Evangelization”, Paul Hiebert, 1976, 4th printing, William Carey Library, Pasadenia California pg 51,52)

SO true!!!  So . . . very, very TRUE!!! :)

Any of you other "bicultural" or milkshake people out there totally identify with this passage??

ten years ago, I wrote my first "blog"

Ok, so actually it was written on what is called a website . . . but still I was trying to make it like a blog before blogging platforms were abundantly everywhere. 

Ten years ago, in a school's computer room somewhere in northern Taiwan, I became a blogger, and I didn't even know it!

To get my printed photos online, I began using using a scanner in Chinese and yahoo's geocities to record my daily life here in Taiwan.  The photo quality is terrible . . . and the layout was tedious, but, if I do say so myself, the design was better than many "homemade" websites from the late '90s. 

But OH!  if I had had flickr and blogger back then, not to mention a digital camera  . . . how sweet that would have been!!!! 

In fact, I carried my mom's 35mm film camera in my purse daily for a year.  Soon after that I got my first digital camera, and so for nearly 10 years now my purse has always housed a point and shoot camera.  It is essential--more important than lipgloss and a driver's licence!

Anyway, Geocities is closing later this year, which made me want to take a walk down memory lane.  Feel free to click through and see what life was like for me as an exchange student in Taiwan in 1999. 

Here was my very first "blog." (nothing is there now besides the "first blog," which I didn't even know was a blog at the time.)

I had an index/home page (which originally was set up kinda of like flickr's sets page), that I changed when I started using another site and then changed again when I moved to blogging.

Here are the "1st pages of each group of photos":

flying cows in taiwan
summer in taiwan
studying in taiwan
residing in taiwan
friends in taiwan
sightseeing in taiwan
holidays in taiwan
classmates in taiwan
religion in taiwan
vacation in japan

Based on these "album" names, can you guess what I called that very first site? 

That's right "amanda in taiwan."  And, yes, my love for not using capital letters in my online world titles started with this very site . . . ten years ago!! (Can you tell I'm having a hard time accepting it was a decade ago that all this happened!?!?!)

Bye-bye, my dear first online home.  Rest in peace.

confessions of a newlywed who surrived "extended singleness" #1

Here is the first of several confessions I've been thinking about  . . .

Before, watching others fall in love, get engaged and marry was VERY bitter sweet.  I was happy for them, but the pain it caused inside could be intense, the struggle it reawakened difficult.

Now, I love weddings!  I love watching people fall in love!  I've even cried in joy at youtube videos of strangers weddings and even teared up watching this news reporter propose on air to an anchor! 

It's so fun to be able to experience sheer joy at watching people commit to marriage! :)

And, you know what? It's fun to have a husband who celebrates right along side me as we watch (and sometimes encourage) others as they fall in love. :)

we all need friends

In life, we need friends.  But, we need different kinds of friends.  From Paul's life, we can see some of the different kinds of friendships we need.  I think we need in life:

1. a Barnabas,
2. a Paul,
3. a Timothy,*
4. and other companions too.

Paul and Barnabas were close friends.  Barnabas helped Paul get started in the ministry (Acts 11:19-26).  After that, their names are mentioned together as a pair twenty times in just a few chapters of Acts: Paul and Barnabas, Barnabas and Paul.  These two spent quite a bit of time together preaching the Good News; they were co-workers in ministry.  Paul and Barnabas also had the freedom to "disagree strongly" with each other (Acts 15:36-40).  We all need friends who we can accomplish like-mind goals with, people who will be there with us and have the same vision and heartbeat that we do, but who are not afraid to challange us and hold us accountable to truth.

In addition to needing friends to walk along side us, we need friends who can mentor us and friends who we can mentor.  In 1 Timothy 2:1, Paul calls Timothy his "true child in the faith."  It is obvious in his letters to Timothy that Paul is teaching and guiding Timothy, taking him under his proverbial wing.  I have always treasured the "Pauls" in my life, older women who have walked the path before me who can help me to follow it.  Likewise, I am able to help others who are just now walking along parts of the path I've already tread.  It is important that we have mentors in our life and that we mentor others as well. 

I often tend to picture Paul "out there" on his own trailblazing and spreading the gospel alone.  But that is not an accurate picture.  Paul had other companions, male--Titus, Silas, Luke, Mark, Apollos, Epaphroditus, Aquila--and female--Pricillia, Phoebe, Lydia, Euodia, and Syntyche--just to name a few of his brothers and sisters in the Lord.  In Paul's letters to the various churches, he mentions some by name sending greetings or thanking them for help sent.  Paul clearly had many friends who he lived in close communion with and considered beloved.

Like Paul, we too need others.  We need to be supported and helped.  We need companionship and fellowship.  Friendships and friends in all shapes and sizes are needed! 

We may be walking an unknown path, but we do not walk it alone--praise the Lord! 

*This idea is not originally mine.  I once heard a speaker in college talk about finding in our lives a Paul, a Barnabas, and a Timothy.  His idea of types of friends to seek out has never left me.

(Originally posted in 2006.)

In life, we need friends.  But, we need different kinds of friends.  From Paul's life, we can see some of the different kinds of friendships we need.  I think we need in life:

1. a Barnabas,
2. a Paul,
3. a Timothy,*
4. and other companions too.

Paul and Barnabas were close friends.  Barnabas helped Paul get started in the ministry (Acts 11:19-26).  After that, their names are mentioned together as a pair twenty times in just a few chapters of Acts: Paul and Barnabas, Barnabas and Paul.  These two spent quite a bit of time together preaching the Good News; they were co-workers in ministry.  Paul and Barnabas also had the freedom to "disagree strongly" with each other (Acts 15:36-40).  We all need friends who we can accomplish like-mind goals with, people who will be there with us and have the same vision and heartbeat that we do, but who are not afraid to challange us and hold us accountable to truth.

In addition to needing friends to walk along side us, we need friends who can mentor us and friends who we can mentor.  In 1 Timothy 2:1, Paul calls Timothy his "true child in the faith."  It is obvious in his letters to Timothy that Paul is teaching and guiding Timothy, taking him under his proverbial wing.  I have always treasured the "Pauls" in my life, older women who have walked the path before me who can help me to follow it.  Likewise, I am able to help others who are just now walking along parts of the path I've already tread.  It is important that we have mentors in our life and that we mentor others as well. 

I often tend to picture Paul "out there" on his own trailblazing and spreading the gospel alone.  But that is not an accurate picture.  Paul had other companions, male--Titus, Silas, Luke, Mark, Apollos, Epaphroditus, Aquila--and female--Pricillia, Phoebe, Lydia, Euodia, and Syntyche--just to name a few of his brothers and sisters in the Lord.  In Paul's letters to the various churches, he mentions some by name sending greetings or thanking them for help sent.  Paul clearly had many friends who he lived in close communion with and considered beloved.

Like Paul, we too need others.  We need to be supported and helped.  We need companionship and fellowship.  Friendships and friends in all shapes and sizes are needed! 

We may be walking an unknown path, but we do not walk it alone--praise the Lord! 

*This idea is not originally mine.  I once heard a speaker in college talk about finding in our lives a Paul, a Barnabas, and a Timothy.  His idea of types of friends to seek out has never left me.

(Originally posted in 2006.)

our wedding reception in the states

Our Taiwanese marriage covenant ceremony is less than 19 days away. So, I thought I should finish up writing about our American wedding before the Taiwanese one happens.

Therefore this week will be full of posts about the various special moments from our American wedding reception. 

We had a blast, and we enjoyed every minute.  

Also, I just wanted to offer . . . if you have any questions about the reception or wedding in America or about the upcoming Taiwanese ceremony and banquet ask those questions here on this post, and I will try to answer them either later this week or next week.

____
Here is a tiny preview of what's to come this week . . .

Don't you just LOVE all that color?  We wanted it to be a joyful, happy celebration . . . and that's what we got!! :)

____
I only have three "regrets" in regards to the reception . . .

(1) we didn't get a chance to tell everyone thank you for coming.  We ended up leaving earlier than planned because most of the guests needed to drive an hour or more to get home, and they were wanting to get home before it got too late. So, we didn't get a chance to get to every table to say thanks.

___
(2) we never played our "game" that my PawPaw made for me.  We didn't have a DJ, and I didn't exactly give the best directions to the person I asked to help with the game, so it just never happened.  And, it just makes me kinda sad that my grandfather spent time and money to make this awesome game that never got to be played. 

___
(3) and, last but not least, I wish our "guest book" (photo mat) had been either announced or in a better location, not even half of the guests signed it. :(  I made my dad and brother sign it later after we got back from the honeymoon.

glimpses from my journal: feb 3-7, 2008

Feb. 3, 2008
"Since Lawrance came back from the conference, we've gone out twice.  On Friday, we went to eat hotpot and then to look at sunflowers, pink flowers, and his mom's work place.  It was so much fun!! 

" . . .

"He is so kind and patient.  He is also very tenderhearted.  And . . . he protects me--making sure he walks on the outside . . . ahhh a man! :)  It's great!"

~*~*~*~

Feb. 7, 2008
Our other date was the very next day.  We went to Corrina's house.  I made spaghetti and we played games with Corrina's girls while Corrina and Kevin went out on a date.  I was tired actually, but we still had fun.

"Father, please guide him and direct him and allow me to follow his lead.  . . .   I want to please you and bring you glory.  I want to honor you and him.

"Please give us both discernment and wisdom.  Help him to be a man and me a woman.  Give us self-control and patience.  Help us to do things right in the matters of the heart.  Teach us how to serve each other, support each other, and love each other too.  Teach us hot to be self-sacrificing and delight in pleasing the other. 

"I thank you so much for giving him to me.  You are such a good, kind, God.  You've given me more than I could ever have asked for or imagined!  . . . Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!  Praise your holy name!"

~*~*~*~*~
Note from Amanda:
During this time I read the books Doing Things Right in the Matters of the Heart by John Ensor and Let Me be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot (essentially a long letter Elliot writes to her newly engaged daughter).  And, he read Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris in Chinese (I reread it also, but in English). 

These three books were so helpful to helping us lay a good foundation for the beginning of our relationship.  I highly recommend Boy Meets Girl and Let Me Be a Woman to others who are in the beginning stages a love relationship.  Doing Things Right in the Matters of the Heart is also highly recommend, but it is a book that can and should be read by singles everywhere.

glimpses from my journal: jan 25-26, 08

Jan. 25, 2008
"I feel like I am living a dream.  Walking in the land of 'I don't deserve this.'  You, my loving Heavenly Father, surely do know how to give GOOD gifts.  You are most kind and very generous. 

"Please forgive my lack of faith and distrust.  I am sorry I ever doubted you.

"I place my life in your hands and eagerly await the future."

~*~*~*~

Jan 26, 2008
". . . I think I am in love.  And, I know I WANT him to be 'the one.' 

"Oh yeah, and today when he called on the phone, he spoke only in Chinese and I spoke only in English.  So fun!!  I loved it!  Yea!!!!!"

glimpses from my journal: jan 24, 2008

"Lawrance is away at a conference in KH . . . how is it possible to miss someone I only recently started hanging out with?  My thoughts somehow seem to always come back to him.  And the only thing I can do is pray.  At times I wonder if the Lord will ever tire of my love sick prayers.

"Corrina suggested tonight that Lawrance go back with me to America this summer.  That way he could meet my whole family and see me in America.  I think that is a wonderful idea.  . . . but is it too premature to be planning that far ahead?  Corrina also mentioned that she thinks we should just go ahead and get married.  Ha!  I had to remind her we've only had one date! :)

"Sigh!

"I think . . . . I really, really think . . . . I am falling in love. . . . oh my!  All I can think of is God is so good, so kind. . . . and how much longer must I wait?  I can't wait to see what happens. . . . can't wait, too excited. . . .so excited . . .can't wait!!!  oh my!  oh my!  oh my!!"

glimpses from my journal: jan 20-22, 08

Jan. 20, 2008
"In just a few moments I will be leaving to go on my first date with Lawrance.  I am excited, nervous, happy.

"Father, you be in control.  Help me to reign in my emotions.  Please be glorified in our relationship where it leads.  Be Lord of it all.

"Help me to trust you as the author of my love life.  Help me to handle his heart with care.  Give me wisdom and discernment--and him too.  Give him the guts to lead and give him the wisdom and strength to do what is right and good and pure.

"Thank you so much for this chance.  Thank you for how you've changed in the past year.  I look forward to growing closer to you than ever before.  Be glorified!!"

~*~*~*~*~

Jan. 22, 2008
"Well, our first date went well.  I really like Lawrance.  I want the whole process of dating him to go well--smoothly.  I want him to be 'the one.'  He was so nervous, but that just made it all the more sweet, cute. 

. . .

"Father, I relinquish this relationship to you.  I want it to honor you and bring you glory.  Even though waiting will be hard for me . . . I trust completely your timing.  You truly are a good God . . . a kind God.  I ask that you give Lawrance wisdom and discernment.  I pray you speak right to his heart.  . . . let him have ears that hear you.  . . . Grow us closer to both each other and you.  And most of all . . . please be glorified in our lives and in our relationship. 

"Thank you for placing us together in a way only you could.  You are so good!!"

glimpses from my journal: jan 1, 08

I've decided to let you inside my journal writings from the past few months.   Of course you are only getting the glimpses and snippets--full text viewing is strictly forbidden. :)

And, just a small warning  . . . I was utterly head over heels in love--you will see that in my writing.  It was a very, very fun and exciting time.  This first journal entry was just some of my "new year thoughts" that are fun to read now that we know there is going to be a wedding on the last day of August of this year. :)

~*~*~*~

Jan 1, 2008
". . . There is so much I long to do, want to do, would love to see happen this year.  Desire.  Longing.  Hope.  It would be amazing to end 2008 as a wife.  That seems too good to be true to actually happen.  Could it?  Can it?

. . .

Father, I entrust you with all that I am.  I have no clue what the future might hold . . . but because you are in charge, I am hopeful and excited.  You fulfill me and satisfy.  You surprise me with your generosity and kindness.  I don't deserve any of it and yet still you give and give and give.  What a wonderful God you are! . . ."

someone to walk this unknown path with

This is our story of God's grace . . .

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

It's a simple story really.
Two people learning to trust God.
Two winding paths that God made straight.
Two straight paths that He choose to cross at just the right time. 
. . .
The Creator of romance, the Maker who arranged the first "boy meets girl" in the Garden so long ago, is still at work. [Taken from Joshua Harris' book Boy Meets Girl]

When I read those words months ago when I first started dating the man I will soon marry . . . I knew those were the words I wanted to use on my blog to announce my engagement!! :)

Needless to say a lot has happened recently.  God has been kind, very kind!!

Some of you found out that I had a boyfriend in real life, some of you found out by email, but for many of you this is coming as a total shock and surprise.  :) 

I promise I didn't just decide yesterday to marry the guy next to me on the bus.  And, I also promise that we didn't keep our relationship secret from our family and in-real-life friends.  We just choose to keep our relationship off the blog for a couple of reasons. 

And, that is really what made blogging these past few months difficult . . . I couldn't blog about what I really wanted to . . . and I was kinda busy spending time with the man of my dreams. :)
 
We are working on putting our story online, so those of you who have not been walking next to us as God brought us together and we fell in love can praise God with us now as we tell our story of His grace in our lives.

You can go to our wedding site and/or wedding blog to read more, but here are the basic details:
Lord willing, Lawrance Aaron Wu and I will be married on August 31, 2008 in Texas. 
We will have another celebration here in Taiwan at the end of the year, and we will continue to live, work, and minister in Taiwan--just together, rather than apart. :)

Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us! What joy!  (Psalm 126:3 NLT)

This coming Monday, I will, Lord willing, leave Taiwan and go Stateside for a little over two months.  I will leave single, but return married to an awesome man who loves the Lord and has a heart that beats strongly to share the gospel with the lost.  What a blessing!!

We would appreciate your prayers for us as we make all the transitions that we will face in the coming weeks and months.  Our greatest desire is for God to be glorified, please pray that as we wrap up things here, transition to a different country for awhile, and plan for both a wedding and a life together that we can keep our focus on Christ alone.

a random meme

A month ago (I'm just a little behind), I was tagged by both Deborah and Lindsey--one loves missions and used to be an MK teacher and the other is a new-to-the-field missionary in the Ukraine! 

This meme is to share 7 random facts about myself to my bloggy friends.  Well, I feel like I've shared so many random things about my life in the last two and a half years there is little left to disclose to the public.  So, here are 7 random facts about me, that I've shared before but perhaps you didn't catch or don't remember.

1. Even though I now call Taiwan home and love living here very much, when I first came to Taiwan in 1997, I didn't really like it very much due to some intense culture shock.

2. I love green tea flavored stuff (for the most part)!!  I've even had the world's best green tea ice cream in the world's tallest building.

3. I am incredibly logical--sometimes this annoys the people who love me most especially since I also tend to be very stubborn firm in my beliefs.

4. I am a self-confessed bibliophile--not just a reader, a book-lover.

5. I've never had a "first kiss" (or a second one for that matter) . . . well, at least not yet.

6. If I'm going to enjoy an Oreo, I prefer it frozen and then dipped in milk. (I started keeping Oreos in the freezer as a way to keep the ants away, and now there is no turning back.  They are best frozen, I promise.)

7. I love oatmeal. It makes me happy. I could eat it for any meal of the day or for breakfast every day of the week for months at a time.  But I don't like it plain--I like it with cinnamon and either with raisins or peanut butter . . . or baked!

Just in case these 7 were too normal or things you already knew and remembered about me . . . here are 8 more random things about me and 8 random facts about my kitchen.

I'm tagging: Sandy, Cahleen, Char, Jen, Michelle, Tabetha, and Sarah
But, of course yall are under no obligation to post if you don't wanna. :)

Here are the "rules" for this meme:
1. Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

the secret of heart-peace in the time of distress

If this world were governed by chance—no amount either of philosophy or of common sense could keep us from worrying; but we know that our Father is taking care of us! No little child in the best and most caring home, was ever carried so carefully or so safely in the love and thought and care of earthly parents—as is the least of God's little ones in the heavenly Father's heart! "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them!" Matthew 6:31-32. The things we cannot help or change are in His hand, and belong to the "all things" which, we are assured, "work together for good, to those who love God."

In the midst of all the great rush of events and circumstances, in which we can see no order and no design—we well know that each believer in Christ, is as safe as any little child in the arms of the most loving mother!

Amid all life's trials and disappointments—our faith rests upon the character and the infinite goodness of God! We should have the faith of a little child—in a Father whose name is "Love" and whose power extends to every part of His universe! Here we find solid rock upon which to stand, and good reason for our lesson that we should never worry.

Our Father is taking care of us!

In a world like ours, there are many things which incline us to worry. There are disappointments which leave the hands empty after days and years of hope and toil. There are resistless thwartings of fondly cherished plans and purposes. There  are bereavements which seem to sweep away every earthly joy. There are perplexities through which no human wisdom can lead the feet. There are experiences in every life—whose natural effect is to disquiet the spirit and produce deep and painful anxiety.

If we are never to worry, what are we to do with these things which naturally tend to cause us worry? The answer is easy—we are to put all these disturbing and distracting things—into the hands of our Father!

"Cast all your cares upon Him, because He cares about you!" 1 Peter 5:7. God is taking care of you—not overlooking the smallest thing, and you have but to cast all your cares and anxiety upon Him—and then be at peace. It is trying to carry our own cares, which produces worry! Our duty is to cast them all upon Christ! This is the secret of heart-peace in the time of distress, from whatever cause.

(By J. R. Miller, "Don't Worry!" 1912. Public Domain as seen on Grace Gems.)

amanda is ok too

Thank you to all of you who inquired about me and (as eija put it) my "bday funk."

I'll get totally honest here for a minute and explain my more cryptic statement from the original post the day after my birthday.  This one:

It is so easy to become envious of others . . . it is so easy to see what I think I lack . . . it is so easy to be selfish . . . it is so easy to sin.  Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.

See, it is not really turning 30 that bothered me.  I have been feeling older (especially with my knee giving me trouble, but more about that on another day), but I don't feel "old" yet. 

The center of the matter is that I was turning 30 and still single.  I've seen all kinds of "mommy blogs" in the past few months where women turning 30 talked about how blessed they were with their loving husbands and cute kids treating them so special on their big day. 

Many people are quick to remind me that "yes, you're single but look at how God is using you."  But, there are also married women who are thirty years old with several children who are overseas missionaries too.  This position is not limited to single women.

Although VERY well meaning . . . comments like that only feed one of the myths we single women are led to believe: "God views me more as a useful tool than a beloved child."

People have often told me, "God has allowed you to be single so you might do these things for Him!" While I know these people are seeking to encourage me, my gut reaction is, Why me? It's true that God may set us apart for a season of singleness, but that doesn't mean He is indifferent to our dreams.

Matthew 7:11 says, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" God views you a cherished child — never a utilitarian object. A loving Father will give you good gifts at just the right time.

My comfort in being 30 and still single can not come from whether or not "God is using me."  It must come from who He is . . . God of all creation, the Author of my life's story, the One who clears this unknown path I am walking on.  My comfort and hope must come only from trusting the One who is eternally both all-good and all-powerful.

See, the problem on my 30th birthday was this: my eyes were one me.  "Why so downcast, O, my soul?"  Because I was not placing my hope where it should rightly be.  And, honestly, I didn't want to either--I wanted to "just this once have the right to be discontent."

Praise the Lord for being quick to forgive!

And, praise Him too for, once again, placing a song in my heart! :)

Well I wanna thank you now
For being patient with me
Oh it's so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess I'll have to trust
And just believe what you say

(This is the chorus of the awesome song "Make My Life a Prayer" by Keith Green, one of my all time favorite musicians.)