following an unknown path

the wu's year in photos

Even though I've let my blog slip majorly in the past few weeks and months, I couldn't let my blogaversary and annual tradition of choosing one photo per month slip past.

This will be my fifth year to do this:

2005--was my third year in Taiwan, and I started blogging
2006--my sister got married and my brother came to Taiwan
2007--I moved to a new city, and my cousins came to visit
2008--I met the love of my life; we dated, got engaged, and then married . . . it was perhaps the most perfect year of my entire life. :)

I think I took less photos in all of 2009 than I did in many of the months of 2008.  Kinda makes me a little sad, and makes me want to resolve to take more photos in 2010.  Anywho, not analyzing anything right now, which I am OH so tempted to do.

Let me get right to the point . . . below you find a month by month look at our 2009 using only one photo per month.

January: We celebrate our first Chinese New Year together in Meinong

February: New Life Bilingual Church in Kaohsiung starts meeting

March: We marry again . . . well, ok, we celebrate our marriage covenant in Taiwan with our Taiwanese friends and family

April: I have my first birthday as a wife (aka, I turn 31)

May: Some of our friends marry . . . and Lawrance is the MC at their wedding banquet

June: We start our summer Sunday afternoon tradition of eating ice after church

July: We go on several dates during the summer . . . Thai food, the beach and more

August: We celebrate our first anniversary in Kenting

September: Sadly Wu Mama is diagnosed with liver cancer

October: Lawrance is a clown (well, maybe he always is one, but at least he LOOKED like one this time)

November: I start studying Chinese again (This is my awesome Chinese teacher)

December: Law's parents help us to decorate our tree . . . a Wu family first!

i delighted in the lord . . . and he gave me YOU

I love you Lawrance!!  I thank God daily for making you my husband.

What a privilege to walk life next to you, with you. What great joy is mine . . . all because God is kind and gave me to you and you to me.

Happy 1st  Anniversary, LaoGong!!

birth day for my new nephew

I don't have much time . . . but I did just want to shout from the mountain tops that my sister gave birth to a BEAUTIFUL 12 pound 4 oz baby boy on Thursday, August 27!!  He shares his birthday with two of his great-grandmothers!! 

Welcome to the world Clayton Joe!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm in love with this newest little guy!!! 

I can't wait to snuggle with him . . . I just hope he hasn't lost his precious baby smell by the time I get to hold him!!

seeing the seasons

I miss seeing the seasons come and go.  Here, on this little topical island, the land of eternal green, there are very minuscule changes in the landscaping from winter to spring to summer to fall. 

We seem to always be able to enjoy bright flowers and green trees.  So, I'm not complaining . . . just missing the changes that mark time.

When I lived in a Taiwanese farming community, I enjoyed seeing the rice fields change. But, here in the city, there is nothing to see change. 

But then today, I saw it.  For the first time . . . a sign of a new season.  And it delighted my heart to no end.

The plumeria trees are blooming!!!! 

It is AWESOME to be able to "see" a change and claim "wow, summer is coming."  :)

confessions of a newlywed who surrived "extended singleness" #2

I vow never to make fun of others as they delight in "new love."  

I really appreciated the people who encouraged me and were excited for me when we were "falling in love."  I am thankful for those who cheered on all the "foot-popping, birds singing, the world is a beautiful place" feelings associated with "new love."

And, it really irritates me when people--especially younger-than-me-couples who married in their late teens early twenties--"poo-poo" (make fun of) the idea of "new love."

It seems that they equate "new love" with "immature love" that only "young people who don't know any better" experience.   Or they even think of new love as being fake. 

I guess I can understand that if all the "ooey-gooey," star-gazing love for them happened when they were young and immature that they would assume that the "ooey-gooey," star-gazing love is also immature. 

But it's not. 

It's a necessary building block for developing a lasting love.   You have to "walk on air" before you can walk together on the solid ground of commitment.

New love is exciting.  It is delightful.  It is fun.  But, it is not immature. :)

I like the way Ed Wheat talks about it in The First Years of Forever.  He claims both new love (what he calls "belonging love") and "absolute love" "need to be at the heart of a relationship" and that the "two loves merge into one to bless [a couple's] new life together."

Wheat further gives this advice for a "sure formula for a lasting, love-filled marriage: Enjoy the feelings of love and guard them well, but live by the facts of love."  Like I said . . . we have to get to experience the excitement of new love first before we can build our lives on commitment and agape love. 

And, therefore, new love should not be made fun of or joked about in a way that puts down those that are living it.  It is great and wonderful.  In fact it is exhilarating! :)

If you have had the privilege of experiencing new love you should count yourself blessed . . . not poo-poo the idea of it.

my first birthday married

I made the traditional birthday cake for my mom's side of the family.  It is a peppermint cake.  It is really easy--add a few drops of green food coloring and a 1 teaspoon of peppermint oil to "white" or plain cake batter.  Layer with chocolate frosting and crushed peppermints.  DELICIOUS!!!

But . . .  there was one huge disappointment . . . the "peppermints" I bought here in Taiwan had some extra "flavor" (menthol).  That's just not right on a birthday cake!! :)

My birthday present was the purse sitting behind the flowers . . . I got to pick  it out. 

And, on the Saturday before my birthday, Lawrance came home with the flowers.  At that time all the lilies were closed.  It was fun watching them one by one throughout the week.  He is SO thoughtful!! :)

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And, Lawrance took me out to a stake place called "Tasty."  They have a set meal that is 7 courses--for most of the courses you get to choose between 2 or 3 items.  It was very nice! 

I think they have some of the best wait staff in Taiwan. 

Not all of the courses and also not in the correct order, but to give you the basic idea . . .

Maybe not the best dessert they have but definitely the coolest (as in most unique) is a fried chocolate wanton that you break and pour over vanilla ice cream.  Then you get to eat the rest of the fried chocolate wanton.

a wonderful wedding gift

We got some amazingly creative wedding gifts that I will share details of with you a bit later.  Today, I just wanna celebrate our biggest gift of all. . . . a new fridge!! :)

Many friends and family (on both sides of the ocean) graciously gave us cash as a wedding gift.  It is the traditional wedding gift in Taiwan, but not so in America.  However, we are very thankful for all our American friends and family understanding that many traditional wedding gifts from a registry in America would have been quite impractical. (Nevertheless we did register for a few items for our home, and I know my mom and sister would love to see what they look like in place, so I'll do that a bit later too.)

Boy, I am gabby today!! :)  Guess I must be excited. ;)

So . . . now . . . . for the grand revealing . . . .our beautiful new fridge that arrived yesterday: 

Although it fits perfectly in the "fridge spot," from this photo it seems to dwarf our entire kitchen! :) 

The fridge part is on top (which I LOVE).  I love being able to stare directly into the fridge part.  Before we had a freezer top fridge, so I had to lean over and down to look into it.

Then below the two door fridge, there are two sections that pull out.  The middle section is for fresh fruit and veggies (a huge crisper, I guess).  And the bottom is the freezer.

So, instead of shelves, it is kinda like a top loading deep freeze--just pile and stack.  I really like it.

Here are some shots I took last night of the inside of our new fridge--this might be the only time I ever show you the inside . . . so make sure you take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity. ;)  (Clicking the photos will take you to their flickr page.)

 

                   

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And, here are a few photos taken before new fridge's arrival:
   

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And, here is how the little black fridge became black . . .

This fridge was nearly 20 years old.  It was given to me when I first moved to Taiwan.  Some missionaries on the island were leaving to go back to the States and were giving it away. 

Some other missionaries that knew I was coming took it and kept it for a few months, then when I arrived they gave it to me. 

I love the way the missionaries I've met here take care of one another and bless each other by sharing not only material stuff but of their time and care too.  God is good.

We loved little black, but he was not working quite as hard as he once was. Sometimes he would forget to work at all, and at other times he would work so hard EVERYthing--even the eggs in the fridge door--would be frozen! 

He did quit working all together back in 2006, but then he came back on.  I know it sounds weird or insanely selfish to some that God would care about insignificant me and my stupid old fridge, but I honestly believe that God caused it to work again.  He cared for the widow and her son by causing her oil to run over; he cared for me by allowing a broken machine to keep running for three more years.  He is a God who cares about us and meets our physical needs.  What a great God we serve!!

our virtual guestbook

This was a totally random idea I thought up.  I've since seen someone else do something very similar but in a much more elegant, professional way. 

Anyway, what we did was . . . . we asked my cousin to go around to the different tables during the reception with a whiteboard and our digital camera.  She asked our friends and family to write a message and then pose with the white board.

I am SO glad we did this.  It was SO fun to look through the photos during our honeymoon. People said things on the white board they never would have on a traditional guest book.

Thanks Tiffany for blessing us in this way!!!

Below is a random order sampling of most of the photo blessings taken at our reception.

a great surprise

I found these in my desk chair on Friday . . .

I was so totally surprised that I actually cried. 

He choose purple flowers because our Taiwanese marriage covenant ceremony is using the color purple.  And, he knows I don't care for roses. :)

Perfect! 

And, he left them in the perfect place too.  There could have been no better place where he could have left them for me to discover. :)

Thank you, Honey!!! :)

a sea of flowers

"Where flowers bloom, so does hope."
Lady Bird Johnson, Public Roads: Where Flowers Bloom


Part of our Chinese New Year break we went back to Meinong.  There we found a lovely sea of flowers that delighted me to no end.

the processional

Like I've mentioned before, we got married outside under a big tree.  It was a gorgeous tree that is over 100 years old.  All the pompom flowers you see hanging from the tree were made by Lawrance (well, I did a few to show him how, but then he did all the rest)--didn't he do a great job?

While Sam and Lawrance seated the grandparents and my mom, Fairest Lord Jesus was playing.

And, here is a moment I am SO glad was caught on film!!  I love my mom!!!

Then Jerry--our dear friend and neighbor for many years, who also welcomed his home up to Lawrance while he was in Texas--opened the ceremony with prayer. 

Then the boys--Lawrance and Sam--came in.  My brother served as Lawrance's best man.  He did such a great job.  I loved looking over at him several times during the ceremony, sweat pouring off his face, but always getting a smile from him.
 

Then our junior bridesmaids and my sister, serving as the matron of honor walked in.  The bridesmaids walked while "Love Divine, All Loves Excelling" was playing.

These precious girls are from my home church.  I used to take them to "little ladies lunch" after church when I was at home working on my master's degree.  They would sit with me during the service, and are some of the beautiful young woman I am blessed to call my "little friends."  God has graciously blessed me with "little friends" everywhere I go!  Now, they are young woman . . . it was a treasure to have them be a part of our wedding. 

Also my junior bridesmaids were a HUGE help!  They carried my train while we took photos.  They ran to get me some lip gloss in the middle of the reception.  Anything I needed they were happy and willing to help with.  One of my friends said that she wish she had had junior bridesmaids at her wedding because of just how wonderful a help they were to me. 

next time . . . here comes the bride . . .

a private moment together before the wedding

We wanted to see each other before the wedding . . . so we did. :)

After getting ready, we had a few moments alone.  Then our photographer (my oldest, as in longest known, friend) came in and took some shots of us enjoying those first few moments as bride and groom--our last few moments before becoming husband and wife.

I LOVE this photo; she caught his expression beautifully!!!

I also decided--a few days before the wedding--I didn't want the veil to cover my face.  I needed to read my vows and do some other things during the ceremony, and to me it was just in the way.  So, I was just going to wear the veil in my hair.  But, then when all was said and done, (like after it was in my hair and I was putting on the dress), it bugged the heck out of me.  Too puffy and now it no longer served a purpose, so it seemed pointless to me.  Wearing a veil didn't make me more or less a bride.  So, I wanted to remove it all together.

I knew this part of the wedding was important to Lawrance--the lifting of the veil.  So we talked about, and he suggested we do the veil lifting privately on our own before the ceremony.  So, we got a few veil shots before the ceremony.  And, I am SO glad that we did . . . some of them turned out really cute!!

There is one more thing I have to tell you about the veil-lifting.  In Taiwan, men roll the bride's veil up and over, so it is a slow ceremonious event.  So, that is what he did.

But . . . after he was done rolling . . . still not kissing on the lips.  We've waited this long we could wait another half hour. ;)

Here we have it step by step.  It was so fun!!  I'm glad we did this . . . and I liked very much that it was just between the two of us.

We're ready . . . come on guests hurry up!  We wanna get married!!! :D

Seeing each other before the wedding was a great decision.  It wasn't part of Lawrance's culture to wait to see the bride.  In Taiwan, the groom goes and gets his bride and brings her to the celebration--lots of cars, noise, and fireworks in procession (in modern times at least).  And, we'd already seen each other all that morning and early afternoon . . . so why not? 

It was a very special moment and perhaps my favorite of the day--ok, one of the top highlights of the day.  It also made my walk down the aisle much less nerve-wrecking.  We were able to fully enjoy the ceremony and the meaning of it all rather than be so caught up in seeing each other for the first time after getting ready--which is so absolutely wonderful in and of itself.

I would highly recommend it to others!!!  It is a decision I am VERY happy with!

On the other hand . . . sometimes looking back at some photos I regret that I made the decision to not wear the veil so quickly; I love photos of brides wearing veils.  I love the photos we have of me wearing a veil.  So, I console myself by thinking I can make sure to wear a veil at the Taiwanese celebration.  So, it's all good.  If I didn't have that bit of consolation, I'd choose to be pleased that I did at that moment what seemed best.  HOWEVER, I still reserve the right to decide at the last minute I don't wanna wear it again. ;)

getting ready for the "big day"

After the quasi-rehearsal, we all grabbed a quick bite to eat and then started to get ready.

The hardest part of my entire wedding planning was finding someone to do my hair (and make-up).  No one seemed to be available because it was a holiday weekend and others never returned my calls.  At times it was a bit frustrating.  But, in the end, I finally knew why I had to wait until the week of the wedding to secure someone to do my hair (and make-up). 

She--the stylist--was at another salon.  We had to wait for her to change jobs and then for her new employer who had turned me down before to go through a list of brides and see if they had found a hair stylist yet.

Why??  Because this stylist needed to hear about God's kindness.  She needed to be encouraged in her faith.  She freaked out and got goose bumps as I told her our story of God's grace in our lives.  It meant a lot to her.

Did I enjoy the bumpy, emotional roller coaster ride of stylist after stylist rejecting me or accepting and then later declining?  No, not at all.  But, now looking back . . . I see God's hand in it.

This was one of the things were I was glad I was not "married" to any one idea.  Because she totally didn't do what I had picked out from online photos, and she didn't do exactly what she had practiced on the practice day.  But, it turned out to be something I liked, and that looked like "me" (my style) and still captured the feel of what I wanted (simple but elegant). [Oh, yeah, and I also wanted something that hid the fact that 85% of my hair was permed straight.] So, that's great!! 

So, without further ado, I give you the wedding hair:

And, just for comparison, here is the trial run from a few days before the wedding:

Here are some other shots of us getting ready. 
 

Not only was the stylist blessed on that day by our story . . . she made my getting ready simply fun.  She was relaxed, comfortable in her own skin and made me laugh--which as you know I love to do!!

And, of course, what wedding day is complete without the official MOB nap?

Side note: It took me a long time to finally voice why looking "beautiful" was important.  When I had a little meltdown over not yet finding someone to help with hair styling, Lawrance of course was like "What's the big deal.  You are beautiful no matter what. You could come down the aisle with nothing done to your hair and no make-up and you would still be the most beautiful bride in the world to me." He was very kind and encouraging. 

I knew he was right.  I knew beauty is all in the eye of the beholder and only skin deep.  I knew my mom was right--that I'd glow because of the day and day's events. 

But . . . I wanted to "feel" beautiful too.  I wanted to "feel" special.  Since I'd permed my hair straight, I felt like I had no idea how to make it "nice" or wear it more formal.  Curly hair is so much easier!!  And, I wear very little make up on a day to day basis.  I wanted a little something that looked natural and accentuated the positive.

At times I felt very vain for wanting to feel beautiful . . . but . . . this was a special day, so I wanted to feel and look special too. 

a shower

A few months ago . . the weekend before Lawrance came to America, there was a "Smith Family Bridal Shower" where all of my aunts and most of my cousins came to shower me with blessings.  It was the first time in two years that I had seen most of them!! 

My mom and sister did all the decorating . . . and they did a great job.  It was so colorful and fun . . . because, well, they used gerber daisies. 

See how cute? And yes they made those really cute daisy cookies!!

We ate at a local Chinese food place that does the round table, everyone share thing.

Mom made me wear a silly veil for awhile while we played some shower games:

And, the girls blessed me with some cute stuff for our master bathroom, things to use in the kitchen, a great cozy blanket for two, and some beautiful lingerie too.

One last photo . . . of me with mom, Sarah, and Grandmother.  I am blessed.  Oh, so blessed!! :)

first month as husband and wife

Yesterday marked our first month together as a married couple!

Lawrance went to a job interview while I was at work; we both left about the same time.  I beat him home because well my school is closer and, well, my lovely hubby stopped to pick me up some colorful gerber daises! 

What a great guy that new hubby of mine is!  They were totally unexpected! 

If there were only one thing true about my husband it is that he is VERY SWEET!! :) 

Happy one month, honey!  I look forward to each minute I get to spend with you as your wife.

2 more weeks!!

In two weeks I will be ecstatic with anticipation!!  In two weeks I will be beside myself with joy. 

Because . . . . in two weeks, this guy:

is coming to Texas!!

I can't believe we've already been apart for 25 days.  The time has actually gone by quite fast, but it is getting harder and harder to be apart.  But, I am oh so very thankful for unlimited international calling for only 4 USD a month with skype--can't beat that.

I don't know how military wives do it.  I'm not even his wife yet, and it hurts to be apart.  And, we only have to be apart for 39 days, but still it's not easy.  So, how they do it . . . I have no clue and much more respect.

someone to walk this unknown path with

This is our story of God's grace . . .

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

It's a simple story really.
Two people learning to trust God.
Two winding paths that God made straight.
Two straight paths that He choose to cross at just the right time. 
. . .
The Creator of romance, the Maker who arranged the first "boy meets girl" in the Garden so long ago, is still at work. [Taken from Joshua Harris' book Boy Meets Girl]

When I read those words months ago when I first started dating the man I will soon marry . . . I knew those were the words I wanted to use on my blog to announce my engagement!! :)

Needless to say a lot has happened recently.  God has been kind, very kind!!

Some of you found out that I had a boyfriend in real life, some of you found out by email, but for many of you this is coming as a total shock and surprise.  :) 

I promise I didn't just decide yesterday to marry the guy next to me on the bus.  And, I also promise that we didn't keep our relationship secret from our family and in-real-life friends.  We just choose to keep our relationship off the blog for a couple of reasons. 

And, that is really what made blogging these past few months difficult . . . I couldn't blog about what I really wanted to . . . and I was kinda busy spending time with the man of my dreams. :)
 
We are working on putting our story online, so those of you who have not been walking next to us as God brought us together and we fell in love can praise God with us now as we tell our story of His grace in our lives.

You can go to our wedding site and/or wedding blog to read more, but here are the basic details:
Lord willing, Lawrance Aaron Wu and I will be married on August 31, 2008 in Texas. 
We will have another celebration here in Taiwan at the end of the year, and we will continue to live, work, and minister in Taiwan--just together, rather than apart. :)

Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us! What joy!  (Psalm 126:3 NLT)

This coming Monday, I will, Lord willing, leave Taiwan and go Stateside for a little over two months.  I will leave single, but return married to an awesome man who loves the Lord and has a heart that beats strongly to share the gospel with the lost.  What a blessing!!

We would appreciate your prayers for us as we make all the transitions that we will face in the coming weeks and months.  Our greatest desire is for God to be glorified, please pray that as we wrap up things here, transition to a different country for awhile, and plan for both a wedding and a life together that we can keep our focus on Christ alone.

53

Only 53 days left till I go home for the summer!!! 

I can't wait!!  It's been TWO full years since I've seen my family.  That's just too long in my opinion!!  My brother has gone from little boy to young man.  My sister has gone from newlywed to new mom.  My parents have/are both changed/changing jobs, and they totally redecorated the living areas of their home.

Of course, skype video helps them feel not quite so far away . . . but it is not the same at all!!  And, I am very thankful for things like email and flickr so that I can very easily share my life and be a part of theirs as well.  Oh, so much better than waiting months for handwritten letters to cross the ocean. 

BUT . . . still . . . despite my thankfulness in technology helping us keep in touch easily . . . I am SO READY to see my family.  To hug them and touch them and sit with them and play with them and just enjoy being with them!

And . . . another way that I can tell that I am SO READY to go home is that every time I think about what I wanna eat I can only think of American foods and restaurants.  Nothing Chinese sounds good anymore.  For the past two years I've not had this "problem," but every time I know it's getting close to the time to go home I start having this "problem."  I think it is funny how we "know" things on several levels.  How subconsciously I am allowing myself to start to miss/desire American foods for the first time in two years.  Oh sure, I've had random cravings for specific foods occasionally, but not the same as every single meal time only being able to think about American foods. 

(Speaking of American foods, Mom, do you think you can make chicken and dumplings even though it will be the middle of the summer?  I've not had that in  . . .what? . . . six years now???  Pretty please!!)

the sweet note

I mentioned awhile back my birthday ended on a sweet note.  Well . . . here is the sweet note:


I was given birthday flowers. Aren't they beautiful!?!?!

The rose buds kept opening up all week long.  It was so neat.  And, those little "firecracker flowers" (as Ashley called them) were so fun.  I'd never seen anything like them.  Anyone know what they really are called in English?

birthday cakes galore!

One of the benefits of having 8 hours of class on my birthday is that over 140 people sang happy birthday to me!

And . . . three of my classes surprised me with cakes!!

The first class actually used another student from another class to tell me they were in an assembly in another building, and our class would be canceled and I was free to go home.  I walked by their classroom before my class and it really was empty (little did I know they were hidding in the stairwell).  I debated for a moment whether to trust them or not.  I decided they were trustworthy.

I sent a text to one of the students and told her what I expected them to have completed by our next class.  But, about 5 min into class time the three guys in the class came into my office and told me the assembly was over and they were ready for class.  So, we all went back to the classroom.  I was thinking about how amazing these kids were since they were willing to have class even though they actually had a free pass for the final hour of the day. 

When we walked into the classroom, there was a party going on. :)  (Can you see the numbers on the cake?  That's right . . . 18!!!)



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They had transformed the chalkboard into a giant birthday card.



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Another class came back from the break during the second hour of class with a cake . . . and so we had a party too! :)



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Even though my last class wasn't over till 9:00 and I didn't get home till after 9:30, some special friends were waiting for at my neighbor's home with pizza and cake to celebrate with me.  I don't have picture of that cake, but here I am with my neighbor and her daughters. (I don't know if you can tell, but to me, I look SO TIRED.)



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Then the following day, 15 minutes into class, some of the "absent students" came in carrying a cake and singing "Happy Birthday!"  First thing one of them told me after singing was "you can't count me tardy" (apparently, I'm known for being strict about that.)



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Then later during the week of my birthday, a dear friend, Anna, stopped by with a beautiful little cake to help me celebrate my birthday.  She had seen my blog on Monday and thought I needed some cheering up--isn't that so sweet!!



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So, if I had to be in school all day on my birthday, it was nice being surprised so many times! :)  And, I also appreciate the others who through out the week made me feel special too. :)
 

amanda is ok too

Thank you to all of you who inquired about me and (as eija put it) my "bday funk."

I'll get totally honest here for a minute and explain my more cryptic statement from the original post the day after my birthday.  This one:

It is so easy to become envious of others . . . it is so easy to see what I think I lack . . . it is so easy to be selfish . . . it is so easy to sin.  Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.

See, it is not really turning 30 that bothered me.  I have been feeling older (especially with my knee giving me trouble, but more about that on another day), but I don't feel "old" yet. 

The center of the matter is that I was turning 30 and still single.  I've seen all kinds of "mommy blogs" in the past few months where women turning 30 talked about how blessed they were with their loving husbands and cute kids treating them so special on their big day. 

Many people are quick to remind me that "yes, you're single but look at how God is using you."  But, there are also married women who are thirty years old with several children who are overseas missionaries too.  This position is not limited to single women.

Although VERY well meaning . . . comments like that only feed one of the myths we single women are led to believe: "God views me more as a useful tool than a beloved child."

People have often told me, "God has allowed you to be single so you might do these things for Him!" While I know these people are seeking to encourage me, my gut reaction is, Why me? It's true that God may set us apart for a season of singleness, but that doesn't mean He is indifferent to our dreams.

Matthew 7:11 says, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" God views you a cherished child — never a utilitarian object. A loving Father will give you good gifts at just the right time.

My comfort in being 30 and still single can not come from whether or not "God is using me."  It must come from who He is . . . God of all creation, the Author of my life's story, the One who clears this unknown path I am walking on.  My comfort and hope must come only from trusting the One who is eternally both all-good and all-powerful.

See, the problem on my 30th birthday was this: my eyes were one me.  "Why so downcast, O, my soul?"  Because I was not placing my hope where it should rightly be.  And, honestly, I didn't want to either--I wanted to "just this once have the right to be discontent."

Praise the Lord for being quick to forgive!

And, praise Him too for, once again, placing a song in my heart! :)

Well I wanna thank you now
For being patient with me
Oh it's so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess I'll have to trust
And just believe what you say

(This is the chorus of the awesome song "Make My Life a Prayer" by Keith Green, one of my all time favorite musicians.)