following an unknown path

quasi-rehearsal on site

After we worshiped together, we piled in cars and headed north to Salado.  Then, we had a lunch time rehearsal with the family members who would be in the wedding.

We didn't do a full, formal rehearsal because (1) the day before we were at my grandmother's 85th birthday party, (2) the night before there was another wedding going on, (3) there were only a few people involved--it didn't seem necessary, and (4) the groom's family didn't come to the wedding.

Let's talk about that real quick. . . . Since the time from deciding to marry and the actual wedding was very short--three months--that made buying international tickets difficult.  Originally it was his father's idea that we go ahead and marry this summer instead of waiting another year, so since it was their idea this softened my guilt of not having them be apart of the day.  But really, this entire ceremony was a very Western/Christian thing to do . . . the ceremony we choose to do has little to no meaning to my new in-laws.  This does NOT mean it is not important to them nor does it take away the sadness that they were unable to attend, but it does lessen the sadness a little. 

Also, we are going to also celebrate our marriage in a very Taiwanese way in the spring (6 months after our American wedding) which will be MUCH more meaningful and important to them.  All involved felt ok with our decisions . . . and Lawrance didn't mind so (I made sure of that MANY times) . . . so this was what happened/is happening: we celebrate American style in America and Taiwanese style in Taiwan.

Lawrance was also comforted by the fact that neither of my grandfathers had their families present at their weddings . . . he felt like he was in great company. :D

(We also had another quasi-rehearsal a week earlier for some of the "little people" who would be in the wedding.  We wanted them to know what to do, but didn't want them to have to stick around for several hours waiting for the wedding to start.)

Here are a few shots from our informal and VERY HOT rehearsal:

morning of wedding

Our wedding was at 6:30 pm in another town about 45 minutes away from my parents' home. 

Since we didn't have a rehearsal the night before, we did a walk though around noon with the family members in the wedding and then met for a lite lunch.  Then the girls left to go get hair and make up done. 

But . . . before I get ahead of myself . . .let's talk about the morning of. 

Lawrance decided to include a tradition from Taiwanese weddings into our wedding day in America.  In Taiwan the bride and groom give a gift of appreciation to their parents.  Since we were not going to do this at the wedding, he decided to invite my parents over to our neighbors' home (where he was staying; they are more than neighbors since we've worshiped together for over ten years). 

Lawrance desired not only to thank my parents for how they raised me and for allowing him to become a part of the family, but he also desired to start off the day focused and centered on Christ.  He wanted to calm his own nerves by worshiping the Lord, reading Scripture, and spending time in prayer.  He wanted to remember the whole purpose of this day was to glorify God.

We met at the neighbors' home at about 9:30 for a great southern breakfast and then a time of worship and prayer.  During this time, Lawrance presented my parents with a gift of appreciation.  And, I also presented the neighbor couple a gift of appreciation. 

Lawrance led this very special time . . . which left all the girls in tears. :)

It was a WONDERFUL way to start off one the most special days in our lives! 

thoughts about our wedding

One of the things I fought during wedding planning was stress.  Meaning I made every effort possible to avoid it.  I totally wanted to enjoy the preparation and the day of as much as possible.  Of course there were a few intense moments--but let's just chock those up to little sleep and an uncooperative-for-the-moment computer. :)

In fact, for this self-confessed perfectionist, letting go of so much that I would have wanted "perfect" was both a struggle and a blessing.  My mom was great in her constant encouragement of "no second guessing" and "no, you are not allowed to rethink that."

Some other things that helped the stress factor was that we planned everything in practically one month.  The first month we were engaged I was still in Taiwan . . . I started to look at things online (mostly images of real weddings on flickr and a few blogs about real weddings).  And we did decide place and date that first month, but that was about all.  Oh, yeah, and I choose the gerber daises--the oh so important gerber daisies which set the mood for everything else I decided! :)

The third month, Lawrance was in America, and I wanted to spend lots of time with him, showing him Texas and introducing him to family.  So, of that third month, only the last week was "wedding week."  We did do a few other "wedding" stuff his first day in the States--got the marriage license, fitted the boys for tuxes, and picked out our rings.  But that was it for the next few weeks.

It was that second month back home that mom and I did most of the planning.  So, I count this as a good thing and not as a stressful thing because I couldn't have it in whatever elusive "perfect way" I could envision.  I loved that my choices--due to time and money--were limited.  Instead of how in the world could I make this as beautiful as possible, I was limited to "here is choice one, two, and three; which one do you like best?"  "Two please, but can we do it in pink instead?"  "Yes."  Ahh . . . so nice.

I also didn't have time "to be married to any idea."  There were several times we "cut" stuff simply because to do it in the time we had it would have been stressful . . . and no one but us even knew it was cut.

I wanted our wedding to be simple, joyful, and God-centered.  I wanted it to be uniquely us, but still have traditional elements.  I wanted it to be worshipful and reverent but at the same time a fun celebration.  I know it's a dichotomous combination, but somehow it totally worked and came together beautifully if I do say so myself! :)

And, Lawrance was totally flexible about so much and OH SO VERY supportive.  For example . . . one night as I was picking out songs to use for the wedding, he sat across from me folding tissue pompoms (which he is now an official expert at making).  I, of course, asked him his opinion, he gave it, and then I totally didn't go with his opinion.  I, of course, asked him though "is that ok that we go with the one I want instead?"  To which he very kindly replied, "I know what my job is.  My job is to fold pompoms, be here for you and support any decision you make.  So, yes, that song is great.  Good choice, honey."  And he meant every word; he wasn't being sarcastic. 

day of events and pictures in up coming posts . . . :)

a shower

A few months ago . . the weekend before Lawrance came to America, there was a "Smith Family Bridal Shower" where all of my aunts and most of my cousins came to shower me with blessings.  It was the first time in two years that I had seen most of them!! 

My mom and sister did all the decorating . . . and they did a great job.  It was so colorful and fun . . . because, well, they used gerber daisies. 

See how cute? And yes they made those really cute daisy cookies!!

We ate at a local Chinese food place that does the round table, everyone share thing.

Mom made me wear a silly veil for awhile while we played some shower games:

And, the girls blessed me with some cute stuff for our master bathroom, things to use in the kitchen, a great cozy blanket for two, and some beautiful lingerie too.

One last photo . . . of me with mom, Sarah, and Grandmother.  I am blessed.  Oh, so blessed!! :)

a colorful glimpse

Our official wedding photographer was my childhood friend.  We were best friends from my earliest memories till my family moved away in elementary school.  Then we became pen pals for the longest time till we finally lost touch for awhile.  However, our fathers continued meeting for annual men's fishing trips to New Mexico.  So, a few years back we got back in touch--I think around the time she got married. 

Seeing her awesome photos on flickr, I asked Jess to be our wedding photographer.  She willing agreed.  (For more of her official portfolio, go to JGM photography.)

Having her with me on that day was SO wonderful.  She had this calming, down-to-earth affect about her that was such a great blessing. 

Anywho, she is starting to post a few of our wedding photos online . . . and we are getting excited.

Once we have them all, I want to blog about the entire day step-by-step.  But for now, here is a little peak at what is to come.  We had a very simple but sweet and Christ-centered wedding.  It was casual but respectful, colorful, and fun . . . it was a beautiful day of celebration if I do say so myself. 

The only thing I would have changed about the entire day is I wish our family and friends from Taiwan could have been there to celebrate with us.

 

never been kissed no more

I've now officially been kissed. :)

More photos to come later after we arrive back home in Taiwan.  It was a wonderful wedding, and we had a very fun, relaxing honeymoon.

God is so kind.

here we go . . .

I can't thank my mother enough for helping us to have our wedding at an inn that is handling nearly everything for us!!  Our stress has been minimal in regards to wedding planning even though we only had three months to plan our wedding.  And, one of those months we were still in Taiwan and one of those months we were busy spending time with each other, sightseeing, and meeting with family.

Also, our pre-marital counselor (a missionary in Taiwan) gave us a golden piece of advice.  He told Lawrance to give me one specific set time each week to talk about wedding stuff with him, the rest of the time we were to work on continuing to build our relationship and prepare for marriage.  We weren't supposed to discuss wedding stuff 24/7.  It was golden advice.  It was great for me, and, I think, it was good for him too. 

So, I thought I'd share with you just exactly what our current mental states are: 

You'd be amazed (well then again, if you know us IRL, maybe you wouldn't) at how many people have told us how loud our house is going to be--a place of fun and laughter and just sheer joy!!  Of course, we hope we also have done the same thing with the wedding.  We hope it is a fun, fun, time of joy and laughter . . . and an opportunity to glorify God because He is our everything, the reason for all the fun and laughter we share.

Our wedding is in two days . . . here we go!!

"Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us!
What joy!"
(Psalm 126:3 NLT)

signing my name

Every time I've signed my name in the last two or three days I catch myself thinking "is the going to be the last time I sign it like this?"

I cannot believe we are down to the last week.   . . . wow.  just wow.

10 days till wedding . . .

Today marks ten days till the wedding . . . on one hand it seems so right and on the other it just seems so crazy.  God is good. 

I'm enjoying all the time Lawrance and I've been having with each other and with my family.  I've not let myself think about wedding at all since he got here--besides getting tuxes, rings, and license within the first two days of his arrival.  But, yesterday mom and I went to pick up the dress.  Things are starting to feel more and more final/real . . . and that is good. 

I know the next ten days are going to fly by . . . oh we are going to have FUN!!  I'll fill you all in on all the details once we are back in Taiwan, and I promise (Lord willing) to share lots of photos. :)

yay!! :)

We got our marriage license today!!  We can now officially receive the rites of matrimony. :)

oh yeah . . . by the way, Lawrance is now in Texas!

engagment party in taiwan

Before I left Taiwan, the mission team I work with threw Lawrance and me an engagement party. 

Carolyn made this really fun (and yummy) double heart cake in our honor. :)

We also played a game similar to "The Newlywed Game."  It was a lot of fun.

We are so blessed!!

glimpses from my journal: feb 3-7, 2008

Feb. 3, 2008
"Since Lawrance came back from the conference, we've gone out twice.  On Friday, we went to eat hotpot and then to look at sunflowers, pink flowers, and his mom's work place.  It was so much fun!! 

" . . .

"He is so kind and patient.  He is also very tenderhearted.  And . . . he protects me--making sure he walks on the outside . . . ahhh a man! :)  It's great!"

~*~*~*~

Feb. 7, 2008
Our other date was the very next day.  We went to Corrina's house.  I made spaghetti and we played games with Corrina's girls while Corrina and Kevin went out on a date.  I was tired actually, but we still had fun.

"Father, please guide him and direct him and allow me to follow his lead.  . . .   I want to please you and bring you glory.  I want to honor you and him.

"Please give us both discernment and wisdom.  Help him to be a man and me a woman.  Give us self-control and patience.  Help us to do things right in the matters of the heart.  Teach us how to serve each other, support each other, and love each other too.  Teach us hot to be self-sacrificing and delight in pleasing the other. 

"I thank you so much for giving him to me.  You are such a good, kind, God.  You've given me more than I could ever have asked for or imagined!  . . . Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!  Praise your holy name!"

~*~*~*~*~
Note from Amanda:
During this time I read the books Doing Things Right in the Matters of the Heart by John Ensor and Let Me be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot (essentially a long letter Elliot writes to her newly engaged daughter).  And, he read Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris in Chinese (I reread it also, but in English). 

These three books were so helpful to helping us lay a good foundation for the beginning of our relationship.  I highly recommend Boy Meets Girl and Let Me Be a Woman to others who are in the beginning stages a love relationship.  Doing Things Right in the Matters of the Heart is also highly recommend, but it is a book that can and should be read by singles everywhere.

glimpses from my journal: jan 25-26, 08

Jan. 25, 2008
"I feel like I am living a dream.  Walking in the land of 'I don't deserve this.'  You, my loving Heavenly Father, surely do know how to give GOOD gifts.  You are most kind and very generous. 

"Please forgive my lack of faith and distrust.  I am sorry I ever doubted you.

"I place my life in your hands and eagerly await the future."

~*~*~*~

Jan 26, 2008
". . . I think I am in love.  And, I know I WANT him to be 'the one.' 

"Oh yeah, and today when he called on the phone, he spoke only in Chinese and I spoke only in English.  So fun!!  I loved it!  Yea!!!!!"

glimpses from my journal: jan 24, 2008

"Lawrance is away at a conference in KH . . . how is it possible to miss someone I only recently started hanging out with?  My thoughts somehow seem to always come back to him.  And the only thing I can do is pray.  At times I wonder if the Lord will ever tire of my love sick prayers.

"Corrina suggested tonight that Lawrance go back with me to America this summer.  That way he could meet my whole family and see me in America.  I think that is a wonderful idea.  . . . but is it too premature to be planning that far ahead?  Corrina also mentioned that she thinks we should just go ahead and get married.  Ha!  I had to remind her we've only had one date! :)

"Sigh!

"I think . . . . I really, really think . . . . I am falling in love. . . . oh my!  All I can think of is God is so good, so kind. . . . and how much longer must I wait?  I can't wait to see what happens. . . . can't wait, too excited. . . .so excited . . .can't wait!!!  oh my!  oh my!  oh my!!"

glimpses from my journal: jan 20-22, 08

Jan. 20, 2008
"In just a few moments I will be leaving to go on my first date with Lawrance.  I am excited, nervous, happy.

"Father, you be in control.  Help me to reign in my emotions.  Please be glorified in our relationship where it leads.  Be Lord of it all.

"Help me to trust you as the author of my love life.  Help me to handle his heart with care.  Give me wisdom and discernment--and him too.  Give him the guts to lead and give him the wisdom and strength to do what is right and good and pure.

"Thank you so much for this chance.  Thank you for how you've changed in the past year.  I look forward to growing closer to you than ever before.  Be glorified!!"

~*~*~*~*~

Jan. 22, 2008
"Well, our first date went well.  I really like Lawrance.  I want the whole process of dating him to go well--smoothly.  I want him to be 'the one.'  He was so nervous, but that just made it all the more sweet, cute. 

. . .

"Father, I relinquish this relationship to you.  I want it to honor you and bring you glory.  Even though waiting will be hard for me . . . I trust completely your timing.  You truly are a good God . . . a kind God.  I ask that you give Lawrance wisdom and discernment.  I pray you speak right to his heart.  . . . let him have ears that hear you.  . . . Grow us closer to both each other and you.  And most of all . . . please be glorified in our lives and in our relationship. 

"Thank you for placing us together in a way only you could.  You are so good!!"

glimpses from my journal: jan 1, 08

I've decided to let you inside my journal writings from the past few months.   Of course you are only getting the glimpses and snippets--full text viewing is strictly forbidden. :)

And, just a small warning  . . . I was utterly head over heels in love--you will see that in my writing.  It was a very, very fun and exciting time.  This first journal entry was just some of my "new year thoughts" that are fun to read now that we know there is going to be a wedding on the last day of August of this year. :)

~*~*~*~

Jan 1, 2008
". . . There is so much I long to do, want to do, would love to see happen this year.  Desire.  Longing.  Hope.  It would be amazing to end 2008 as a wife.  That seems too good to be true to actually happen.  Could it?  Can it?

. . .

Father, I entrust you with all that I am.  I have no clue what the future might hold . . . but because you are in charge, I am hopeful and excited.  You fulfill me and satisfy.  You surprise me with your generosity and kindness.  I don't deserve any of it and yet still you give and give and give.  What a wonderful God you are! . . ."

asian themed wedding

Nope.  Just in case you were wondering, we are NOT having an "Asian themed wedding."  Not that there is anything wrong with one, but I want our American wedding to be American and our Taiwanese wedding to be Taiwanese . . . while at both of them still honoring both cultures.  Does that make sense?

So, we are not doing anything overtly "Asian" at our American wedding.  No chipows, no lanterns, no deep red decorations, no fortune cookies (which are American anyway) and no "Chinese take out boxes" (which are also American).  However, we will use Chinese during part of the ceremony, and the groom's cake will have some a fun Chinese inspired decoration.  But, beyond that we are doing things in a colorful blast of gerbera daisy fun. :) 

The church ceremony of our Taiwanese wedding will be much more bilingual than our American wedding.  My guess is that it will seem Taiwanese to the Americans and American to the Taiwanese . . . which is actually my desire.  Not that both groups find it foreign, but that we do things in a way that is totally us . . . a blend of both cultures. 

However, our banquet in Taiwan will be very Taiwanese all the way.  I'm not sure what all it will include, and I'm not sure that I will know until it is all said and done.  I have heard talk of karoke though.

Oh, and the part before the wedding, where the groom comes to get or take his bride will also be done in a Taiwanese way.  

So . . . that's what I know so far.

Perhaps if we weren't also having a wedding celebration in Taiwan later or perhaps if I wasn't moving back to Taiwan after the wedding or perhaps if I wasn't actually marrying a Taiwanese man I would consider doing an Asian inspired theme for our wedding.  But, as things stand now I've kinda been against the idea of a commercially done "asian" theme to the wedding here in Texas.  However, I'm not opposed to things like using Taiwanese candy as our favors or putting the character for "double hapiness" on our invitation envelopes.

pompoms and favor bags

Mom and I spent some time this week working on wedding stuff.

First, we started making things to hang at the wedding.

We will be hanging these tissue paper pompoms both in the tree and in the reception hall.  Have I mentioned we are having an outdoor wedding and are getting married under this great big, 200 year old tree:

I've always dreamed of an outdoor wedding.  As a side note, I always told my family that I'd get married barefoot in someone's backyard--it almost happened till mom found the inn.  And, well, I'm going to wear sandals because Lawrance thinks it's safer.

Back to the pompoms.  Mine will be orange, teal, pink, and yellow.  We also have some pomanders made out of several different colors of gerberas to hang from the tree.  Mom made those.

We also bagged candy that Lawrance and I picked out in Taiwan.  Traditionally in Taiwan, a bride and groom will stand at "the exit door" to thank all the guests for coming to their wedding.  This also ensures that everyone at the wedding has one more chance to congratulate the new couple. 

They stand at the door with their parents and pass out candy and cigarettes.  I'm not sure what the cigarettes symbolize; however, I do know about the candy.  :)  The giving of candy at the wedding symbolizes the guests sharing in the sweetness of the new marriage.  Or that the guests wish a sweet life on the new couple. 

Lawrance also told me that in Taiwanese the word for "candy" sounds like "di di" which means "little brother."  So, by taking the candy the guests are also wishing the couple has a son very soon.

One aspect of the candy is that I've been told to take the candy in even multiples.  In other words, never take just one piece.  Taking two pieces is important because you want the two of them to stay married forever. 

So, . . . Lawrance and I got some of the traditional wedding candy and also some other fun Taiwanese candy we thought Americans would like.  We aren't going to stand at the exit door at our American wedding, but we will give out the candy in little bags with an explanation of its cultural significance as our American wedding favors.  The little bags look so cute and make me very happy.

making decisions

I've made more decisions in the past three weeks than I think I have in the past three years!!

I mean just deciding about the cake alone I think I must have made at least 15-20 decisions!  It's crazy!!  I had no idea wedding planning included this much deciding.

I am SO thankful that we went with the inn.  It was so much easier just answering her questions and choosing from preselected possibilities then thinking and searching and planning and trying to make it all work.  Even having to think of all the questions that needed answering would be an insurmountable task!

And don't even get me started on how hard making all those decisions on music are.  Once I choose what song I want to use, I then have to sort through and find the version I like best.  It can be overwhelming to say the least.  I have set this task aside and will work with Lawrance on it when he is here.

Oh, yeah, all that and I'm planning all the things I want Lawrance to experience while he is here for a month.

And, I made a small registry  . . . that just about killed me.  I honestly was overwhelmed with all the decision making at that time.  Do we really need this?  Do we need that one or this one more?  Is there room for this in our suitcases?  Is it really worth the space and weight it will take up? 

I am SO thankful my brother (who for those of you who don't know is only 14) went with me.  It's summer vacation; he was bored; there was a "gun" to use . . . it was a great excuse to get out of the house.  Actually, he was a blessing.  A few times he got a little impatient with me and was like "yes.  get it;" scan.  But, for the most part he helped me think though and make decisions.  And most of all he was incredibly patient.  I did however have to remove duct tape, a ficus tree, a turquoise tamale steamer, a bobble head thing, and a few other random surprise items off the registry when I got home. :)

Oh, yeah, and another person who has been awesome in all this is my mom.  She has also been really patient and understanding too.  She also keeps chanting "no second guessing" or "nope, can't rethink it now" to me. :)  After I added a fourth color two weeks ago, she stated firmly "no more changes." 

And, when I've vented to Lawrance he's been good about either encouraging me and supporting me or about helping me refocus and keep the Main thing the main thing.  And, of course, he is constantly bathing the all of the wedding planning in prayer.  What a blessing!

Ok, so . . . . all that to say. . . . I am SO tired of making decisions.  I have no idea how some of you who have long engagements spend a year or longer doing this.  I think I would literally crash and burn.

But, praise God!  I think I'm on the downward slope now and have made the majority of the decisions regarding wedding ceremony and reception.  Just need to spend some more time planning how to spend our time together before the wedding experiencing life in America.

our invitations

(Now, I am "live blogging"--as opposed to reposting past posts--the wedding.)

Yesterday I sent out our invitations to the American wedding.  Yipee!!

In planning our whole wedding . . . we don't necessarily want to "buck tradition," but we don't want to be bound by it or to it either.  We are seeking to do things in a simple way that doesn't cause lots of stress and that also honors our Father. 

Ever since I saw my parent's wedding invitation when I was a child--which included an engagement photo of them on the invitation--I've also wanted a photo on my own wedding invitation.  And since everyone we invite to the American wedding hasn't seen me in two years and won't meet Lawrance till August, we thought having photos on our wedding invite would help "introduce us."

Originally I was going to just make my own photo-based wedding invitations, but we decided that paying someone to design them for us might cost a little more but would be less stress.  So that is the route we took. 

We are both very pleased with the results!!

In addition to going non-traditional with the layout/design/paper of our wedding invite we also changed the words of the invite to be uniquely ours but still seem formal/traditional.

Here is the text of the invite (minus all the specific details):

With joyful hearts
Rev. & Mrs. Kenneth Parmley
invite you to join them in celebrating
the union of their daughter 

Amanda Nicole
to
Lawrance Aaron 
son of Mr. & Mrs. Sen-Song Wu
as they glorify God
for what He is graciously joining together.

On the return address label we used a "double happiness" seal/stamp.  This double happiness character is used at Taiwanese weddings and is hung on doors and walls of a new couple's room or home.  It is called "double happiness" because it is the word "joy" twice.  Kinda like "joy joy"--meaning that when two are joined together there is double the joy.

eleven

Yesterday marked 11 days till I leave Taiwan AND 11 weeks and 3 days till our wedding!!

CRAZY!!! :)

Lawrance and I have a standing date on Thursday mornings.  Yesterday we got a little silly.

It was fun.  :)

Gosh, I'm gonna miss this guy like crazy when I am back in the States for five weeks without him!!  I better stay really, really busy!

What a blessing he is to me!  I love that he can make me laugh (sometimes without even trying)!! :)

(Originally posted on June 13, 2008.)