following an unknown path

amanda is ok too

Thank you to all of you who inquired about me and (as eija put it) my "bday funk."

I'll get totally honest here for a minute and explain my more cryptic statement from the original post the day after my birthday.  This one:

It is so easy to become envious of others . . . it is so easy to see what I think I lack . . . it is so easy to be selfish . . . it is so easy to sin.  Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.

See, it is not really turning 30 that bothered me.  I have been feeling older (especially with my knee giving me trouble, but more about that on another day), but I don't feel "old" yet. 

The center of the matter is that I was turning 30 and still single.  I've seen all kinds of "mommy blogs" in the past few months where women turning 30 talked about how blessed they were with their loving husbands and cute kids treating them so special on their big day. 

Many people are quick to remind me that "yes, you're single but look at how God is using you."  But, there are also married women who are thirty years old with several children who are overseas missionaries too.  This position is not limited to single women.

Although VERY well meaning . . . comments like that only feed one of the myths we single women are led to believe: "God views me more as a useful tool than a beloved child."

People have often told me, "God has allowed you to be single so you might do these things for Him!" While I know these people are seeking to encourage me, my gut reaction is, Why me? It's true that God may set us apart for a season of singleness, but that doesn't mean He is indifferent to our dreams.

Matthew 7:11 says, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" God views you a cherished child — never a utilitarian object. A loving Father will give you good gifts at just the right time.

My comfort in being 30 and still single can not come from whether or not "God is using me."  It must come from who He is . . . God of all creation, the Author of my life's story, the One who clears this unknown path I am walking on.  My comfort and hope must come only from trusting the One who is eternally both all-good and all-powerful.

See, the problem on my 30th birthday was this: my eyes were one me.  "Why so downcast, O, my soul?"  Because I was not placing my hope where it should rightly be.  And, honestly, I didn't want to either--I wanted to "just this once have the right to be discontent."

Praise the Lord for being quick to forgive!

And, praise Him too for, once again, placing a song in my heart! :)

Well I wanna thank you now
For being patient with me
Oh it's so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess I'll have to trust
And just believe what you say

(This is the chorus of the awesome song "Make My Life a Prayer" by Keith Green, one of my all time favorite musicians.)

at the GuGong

I got to go back to the GuGong (aka National Palace Museum) this past week!  It was maybe my 14th or 15th time to visit this great art museum.  :)

Taiwan's GuGong is one of the top five museums in the world.  I love going there.  Each time I go I get to see something new.

This time I got to go with a friend who loves looking at art as much as I do . . . maybe even more!  It was wonderful to take a full day just to enjoy beautiful things together. :)

spring break

Spring break is HERE, and I am off to enjoy!!  So, catch yall later!!

Easter eggs and birthday brownies

Last Saturday, Karen and Christine, my little neighbor friends, came over to dye Easter eggs with me!  It was their first time to do so (that they can remember). 

Julie, a young lady I meet with for worship (photo on left), also joined us for egg dying creativity.

My friends are SO creative.  Just look as some of the fun eggs they made!!

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

That same day also happened to be Christine's 11th birthday!!  So, I made her some birthday brownies and used some of the candles I'd brought from America.  (Here birthday cakes only have candles with numbers.)

I've known Christine since she was only two years old.  It's been fun to watch her grow and change . . . she is so full of life and energy.  I love being around her!!

Yay!!  Happy Birthday, Christine!!

an afternoon out and about

This Sunday, some of my former students from my former school came to Tainan for a "graduation trip."  They invited me to join them on their adventures around town.  Tainan is the oldest city in Taiwan and is full of historic sites. If I have to live in the city, I'm glad it is a city with history. :)

Whenever I see people drinking out of bags, it always amazes me.  Some of my students bought yellow colored sodas in bottles.  The store owner poured their drinks into baggies for them, added staws and tied them off.

Here is a pic of the whole group that came up from Kaohsiung for the day, plus their teacher Kady (my good friend and fellow Tainan-person) and me.

And, one of the highlights of the afternoon . . . . holding a baby!!!  Rio's daugheters came with her on the outing, the oldest one (who is now two) has to be distracted in order to let me hold her or interact with her, but the younger one reached out for me as soon as I joined the group.  Sigh . . . how sweet.  Even though I've not blogged about them in a long time . . . yes, the mommy longings are still strong. :)

at the strawberry patch

Yesterday, I joined a few of my students for a fun little adventure.  We rode out to a strawberry patch in Tainan county and picked strawberries. 

I'd never done this before, and it was kinda fun picking and choosing the reddest berries I could find. 

And they are so delicious!!  Wish yall could come stop by for some strawberry shortcake tonight!

sharing the good news

We currently have a team of six (from Missouri) here serving with Hokkien Harvest, the mission team I partner with, for the week.

Yesterday, Wednesday, they came to Tainan and shared the Good News with Taiwanese college students. 

What a privilege to witness new life begin!

I invite you to join me in praying for both the team as they still have a few more days here with us and for your new brother and sisters in Christ!! 

weirdness

Sitting here surfing the net looking at pictures on flickr, when out the blue my skype phone rings. 

My skype phone hardly ever rings. 

I have an Austin area number, so family and friends can call a local number to talk to me even though I live in Taiwan.  But, my mom and I usually skype on the computer, and I'm usually the one who does the calling to my sister and others.

But, tonight, the skype phone rings.  I don't know the number, but I see that it is a 512 number, meaning someone in Austin.

I decide to answer.

For a brief moment, I am not sure what to say.  My gut tells me to say "wei" (how you say hello on the phone in Chinese).  My brain tells my gut that is wrong.  My mouth doesn't know what to do.

It was a very weird feeling.  Weird that I actually had to consciously think about something I've done unconsciously my whole life.

Finally, my brain reasoned that hello would be best, so mouth obeyed.

I then hear a voice I don't know say, "Linda?"

For a split second I wanted to tell this stranger that he had called Taiwan.  For a split second, I wanted to speak Chinese just to freak him out a little.  I wanted him to be able to share in the hilarity of it all, but again brain won because it reasoned that it would be too difficult to explain, and this poor guy wanted to talk to Linda, not me.

I did, however, laugh a little when I told him it was a wrong number . . . . think about it: this guy was trying to call an Austin number but got someone in Taiwan.  Pretty wild. 

Welcome to life in the digital age.

the truth about straightening curly hair

On the 17th of Jan, I straightened my hair.  So, I've lived with straight hair for a little over a month now.

So, I thought it about time to answer some of the questions I've been asked about straightening curly hair for all you curious minds out there. :)

How long will it last?
Well, hair wants to be straight.  So, unlike a perm, straightening hair will stay straight. In other words, it won't "relax."  The only way I get my curls back is for them to grow back.

Did you do it yourself, or did you have it done?
I went to a salon near my home.  She first relaxed the curl.  That wasn't enough, so she relaxed it again.  Then she straightened with it with an iron, and then applied the perming solution.  The whole process took over four hours.

If you don't dry your hair, will it dry straight?
Yes.  I did this one day just to answer your question.  It still dries very straight, which is weird for me.   But, if I happen to stick it behind my ear then that little piece of hair will dry with a bend in it.

How does it look after you wake up. Is it frizzy at all?
Nope.  I can brush it and go. 

Which one is harder to take care of--curly hair or straight hair?
By far straight hair is much more inconvenient.  There seems to be less to do with board straight hair.  Pony tails and clips just fall right out (my hair is really thin).  So, for now it is either all down or in a headband.  Also, it must be combed and brushed on a regular basis, and you have to take the time to dry it.   With curly hair, it is wash, comb and go.  Don't touch again till you are putting it up or washing it again. And when the wind blows?  Curly hair doesn't fly into your face, straight hair does.

Do people think you look more Asian now?
I have had a few people make comments along the lines that straight hair does make me look more Asian. However, the most common reaction though from among my Taiwanese coworkers and friends is that now I am more "lady like." Before, apparently my curls made me more 活潑 ("wa paoh" or "hou po), which is defined as "lively; vigorous; vivacious; vivid; agile; animated; brisk; breezy; bright; cheery; spry."  The other comment is that I now look much younger.  Hmm . . . younger and more lady like?  Ok.  Whatever floats your boat.

Would you do it again?
As in, if you could do it all over again, would you?  Probably yes.  I've enjoyed the change.  As in, will you keep straightening it?  No.  I like my curls and want them back.  They are an intricate part of who I am.

Other things I've noticed: Gray Hair
For the first week, I saw gray hairs every where.  Here's my theory on why: First, gray hair has a different texture, so it needed more relaxant than the brown ones, so they were a little curly still.  Second, they weren't as long as the majority of brown hairs, so they were easier to stand out.  Third, with curly hair, hairs hang out together with friends in ringlets.  This allowed the gray hairs to hide themselves amongst their younger friends. (I was going to prove my point with a picture, but decided it wasn't the best idea after all.  So, just use your imagination, ok?)

Other things I've noticed: Greasy
My sister used to complain about greasy hair . . . as a curly girl, I just didn't get it.  Now I do.  Oil from your scalp likes to coat your hair.  But, oil has a hard time running down curly locks.  This is reason number one why moisturizing well is a priority for anyone with natural curly hair.  So, just like I never blew my hair dry before straightening it, I also never had "grease hair" before either. 

Other things I've noticed: Using a Curling Iron
I've used a curling iron on my new straight hair to add in some big curls.  Before long the curls had fallen out.  It was a weird feeling to watch curls not be able to stay in my hair.  I like the big curls and have considered possibly perming my hair as my roots get longer. (Even in this picture, you can see them starting to fall out.)

Things I worried about: My Roots
Yeah, my hair is starting to grow out.  I currently have about half an inch to an inch of wiry roots.  It is not as bad as I thought it would be, but it does make my hair look a little frizzy around the part line.  Still a concern of mine; still not sure what I'm gonna do when it turns to two, three, or four inches of "wire."

Things I worried about: Missing my Curls
Yes, I miss them.  But, it took about three weeks before I missed them.  And, I only miss them when I see pictures of my curly-haired self with a good hair cut.  I sigh and then think, "how long till that can come back?"

What I like Most about My Straight Hair:
I love the length.  More than it being straight, I love that it is long.

So, that's it for now--my "one month later update."  Any thing else you wanna know about straightening curly hair? 

meeting judy!!

I recently saw Judy for the first time since the accident last summer. 

In some ways, she is still the bubbly, fun-filled girl she has always been, but in other ways fear grips her.

Please join me in praying for Judy.  How I long to see her rescued not just for a longer life on earth but for all of eternity.  How I long to see her set free from the fears that bind her.

happy chinese new year!!!

Happy Year of the Rat!! 

This photo above was taken at the day market on the morning of Chinese New Year's Eve a few years ago. During the Chinese New Year time, every store sets out candy and every home has a tray of candy set out for guests.

Perhaps it is to wish friends and neighbors a sweet year--that's just a random guess on my part. :)

(I'll try to share some more Chinese New Year traditions with you next week.)

Here are some more photos of Chinese New Year candy for sale.  Some are in the shape of firecrackers, some in the shape of an ancient weight for currency, and some look like Chinese lanterns.

about a boy

I will soon be able to add one more thing to this list of things that I am.

In a little over four months my sister is going to make me an aunt!!  She is a little over 19 weeks pregnant with my little nephew, who will be named Nathan Lee.

Nathan means "gift of God" . . . what a wonderful name!!

I am so excited for my sister and brother-in-law.  This is something they've wanted for a long time now.

Can you see him there?  The first one is a full body shot and the second one is of just his face.  Beautiful, right?

And, yes, I'll be perfectly honest, it stung at first.  Why would God, the giver of all good gifts, give my younger sister both a husband and a baby before me?  "Doesn't he care about me too?" my heart longed to know.   

It's like the time I asked for a clock radio for Christmas.  My grandmother had prepared two of them (one for each of us), but Sarah opened hers first.  In my selfishness, I actually cried, "that's mine Sarah!  You opened my present!"  I walked over and ripped it out of her arms.  Sigh . . . what sin!  I still remember how guilty I felt when I realized how blatant my selfishness was on that Christmas Eve.

There were many tears shed the night I first found out she was expecting . . . as once again I mourned the fact that I am not yet a wife and not yet a mother.  My selfish, sinful heart once again cried out "That's mine, Sarah!  You opened my present!  Why do you get one and I don't!  I want one, too!!!"

But, since then . . . after repenting, my heart has been filled with nothing but joy for my sister.  I am so happy and can't wait to meet little Nate this summer when I get to go home for the first time in two years. 

Oh, yeah, and if Sarah is able to hold that little bambino inside to full term or longer, I will even get to see my sister 9 months pregnant.  How cool would that be!?!?!   But, for now, here is my beautiful pregnant sister at 19 weeks:

winter camp is OVER!!

For the past 11 days, I've been teaching a winter English camp for my college.  It was exhausting!!  For an introvert, being around 150 students for 6 hours a day for 11 days kinda wears you down FAST.  I would be very content to just be a hermit for the next 11 days to recuperate. :)

But, since Chinese New Year is coming, that is impossible! :)

But, since Chinese New is coming, I do have the next two weeks OFF!!  Yay!!!  So, I will be spending the days with friends, so that is nice.

For winter camp, I do a lot of games like pictionary, charades, 20 questions, taboo, and more.  I also use songs in many, many ways with lots of different kinds of activities.   So, even though I am exhausted, I did get to have fun, and, hopefully, the students did too.

 

reading scripture by genre

Usually I enjoy structure and much order.  I don't like it when someone changes the song in the middle--I need completion, please let the song finish and then change it. 

I don't like flipping the channel during commercials; mute is just fine, thank you.  All that jumping around annoys me. 

I can't start one novel without finishing another one first.  If the novel is bad, it hangs around for awhile unread and keeping me from reading other novels, till finally I get smart enough to just throw it away and move on. 

So, why am I telling you all about my completion-complex?  I'm trying something new this year--reading the Bible by genre, reading a different genre each day.  So far, I'm enjoying it despite my completion-complex.

Let me explain.  Each day of the week I read a different genre (literary type)--so on Sundays it's the Gospels, Monday it's law, Tuesday it's narrative/history, Wednesday it's the Psalms, Thursday it's poetry, Friday it's prophecy, and Saturday it's the epistles.  Kinda interesting, huh?

I don't recall at all how I surfed upon this plan, but I do know that the genre based Bible reading plan that I am using is from this site.

At first I thought it might get confusing or I might not like all the jumping around.  I thought I might lose focus or concentration.  Nope.  Not at all. 

One thing I have noticed different with this reading plan is that since each genre is not equal in length, but they still divided each genre into fifty-two selections, some days the section is only two chapters while other days it might be six. 

Nevertheless, I am actually quite enjoying having each day specialize on a certain type of writing.

Hmmm . . . wonder if I'd enjoy the Literary Study Bible.

Do you use a reading plan to guide your daily study of Scripture?  If so, what kind of plan are you using?  Are you enjoying it?

bye bye curls

For those of you who didn't know, my tight little curls are all natural.  I've been a curly girl my whole life.  Once I understood some of the keys of taking care of curly hair--keeping them well conditioned, no touching after they are dry, and so on--I've learned to love them. 

But, after nearly 30 years of basically the same hairstyle I decided it was time for a change.  I've been thinking about it for a long time, but last week I took the plunge and permed my hair straight.  It took four hours for them to relax and then straighten and then smooth and then set my very curly hair. 

And straight it is!  Wow.  It feels so different.

Here is what my hair looked like before:

And here it is now:

One of the main differences between permanently straightening it and ironing it straight like I did a few times last year (my Christmas pictures) is that my hair still wanted to be curly--so it kinda formed some waves and had body and bounce.  Right now it just hangs there--so board straight!!

I washed straight hair for the first time in my life this weekend.  It feels SO DIFFERENT to wash straight hair.  And, I had to go out and buy a hair dryer--and blew my hair dry for the first time in my life too.  Crazy I tell you. Crazy.

I don't know how long it will be till I miss my curls and want them back.  But, for now I am enjoying the change. 

The other thing I worry (not real worry, just ponder occasionally) about is what to do when I have very curly roots and really straight hair.  If you have any ideas or have dealt with that problem before, I'd be happy to hear your suggestions!

tonight!!!

Last year, I discovered one of my students had been singing on TV.  But, because I didn't have cable, I only watched a few of the videos of her on YouTube.  I told her I had seen her singing and was impressed.  It was then that I found that what I had watched was small potatoes . . . . and that she had sung at other times on other shows too--as recently as just that past weekend.  But, she didn't tell me exactly what or brag or go into details. 

So, fast forward to this summer when I moved to Tainan and a typhoon blew through at the same time.  As I sat in my friend's apartment locked safely inside and utterly exhausted, I flipped through the channels . . . and I SAW HER ON TV!!!  I was shocked.  I mentioned it to my friend and found out that my student entered a "Taiwanese Idol" show on a major TV network. 

There are currently three different "Taiwanese idol" shows on prime time right now here in Taiwan.  My student is on the one called 星光大道 in Chinese.  They call it "Million Star" in English but a better translation of the show's name would be "Path to Stardom" or "Avenue of the Stars." 

So, ever since August of last year, I've faithfully watched this "Taiwanese Idol" show on TV each weekend.  It starts on Fridays at 9:30 and lasts till midnight.  Good thing for me they replay the last two weeks of shows back-to-back again on Saturday and Sunday.  So, in total I have four extra chances to see each show in case I miss the Friday night one or if I fall asleep on the couch before Rachel, my former student sings (she graduated last year).  (By the way, if you remember Judy from this summer, Rachel and Judy are best friends.)

Well, they have it down to the top five and tonight the show is live as they determine the ranking of the top five and declare a winner.  Rachel has consistently received high scores throughout the show.  And currently is in first place from the last 3 weeks of "top 6" competitions when they started adding the scores together for the top 6 and not just kicking off the low achievers! 

So, no doubt that tonight I will be watching this show and cheering on my former student!!! 

Here she is in a couple of her most recent performances on the show (the first one she is in a duet with one of the judges in a fun song called "it doesn't matter"):

tatoos and hello kitty

What do tatoos, Hello Kitty, Beethoven, working dogs, and Holland have to do with each other?

Give up?

They are all topics of the research papers I find myself correcting and soon grading.    Other topics include New York City, diabetes, the Disney princess (an awesome paper by the way), the MINI Cooper, online gaming, and Louis Vuitton.   I am learning so much.

Dear blog, 
I miss you.  Will be back soon. 
~amanda

seeing pink

I feel like my words are missing . . . my students have stolen them from me. :)

In the last 24 hours, I've corrected approximately 60 essays.  I have about 20 more to go by tomorrow afternoon, and then 40 more for early next week, and then oh . . . about 60 more later in the week.  Most of them are 2-3 pages, but about 20 are close to 10 pages each.

My hand hurts, my vision is blurred, and I've actually emptied the ink out of one pink pen and am about to finish off my second one in a matter of just a few more essays.  (OK, so maybe my arm hurts from sleeping on it funny, and maybe my vision was only blurred for a few seconds when my contact was doing something funny . . . but I really have used up the ink in 1.8 pink pens.)

Finals are in two weeks; but since I teach three writing classes, the majority of my students need to turn in final drafts of essays, research papers, or business emails they've written over the course of the semester.  Which means I am helping them to do their final editing.

. . . which means I'm seeing pink and will continue to do so until mid-January!!

[Oh, yeah, but don't feel sorry for me.  I am not complaining.  I love my job.  Just felt the need to explain why I've not posted much . . . I have no words left to express my own thoughts. :)]

a pictorial year in the life of amanda

Like I've done for the past two years (2005, 2006), I am summing up my entire 2007 in only 12 photos (one for each month).

I took less than half as many pictures this year as I did last year.  This year I only took a little over 4,000 . . . .it's kinda hard to beat 9000 in one year. :)  Nonetheless, it was still not easy to choose only one pic per month, but it is a fun way to showcase the various things that took place this past year.

January: Telling People about Jesus

February: Go to Thailand

March: I Play My Erhu in the Park

April: I Learn to Make Spring Rolls

May: A Fantabulous Weekend Getaway to Neighboring Island--PengHu (which I never blogged about but always intended too)

June: Students Graduate

July: My Cousins Come to Taiwan!!

August: I move to Tainan

September: My First MIRL--I get to Meet Fellow Taiwan Blogger in Person

October: Yuka, One of My Japanese Friends, Comes to Taiwan!!

November: New School, New Students, New Friends

December: Christmas Parties Galore!

Quite different than previous years.  This year was filled with more "風風雨雨"  (wind, wind, rain, rain), a Chinese idiom which can be translated "ups and downs."  But still the year remains a testament to God's kindness.

If you'd like to join me in doing this, please do . . . just leave a comment below with the link to your own pictorial summary of 2007 so we can all go enjoy looking over your year (I tried Mr. Linky, but he doesn't do custom meme's anymore unless you pay).

overwhelmed by generosity

Deb, one of my very first blog readers (by the way I don't think I ever replied to that first comment.  I never answered her question, and yet she still came back for more), was a HUGE encouragement when I first started blogging. 

And, just recently she was HUGE encouragement to me in another way . . . she sent me a box of goodies full of wonderful stuff (shhh . . .don't tell anyone but that box of thin mints is already empty).   She made me a dishcloth in my new kitchen colors, and she picked out a book for me that has several pages about journeys and paths (I'm not sure if that was on purpose or not, but I love it!!).  She even sent me a sunflower from her garden--how fun!!  And, there were lots of other goodies inside too.  I was TOTALLY overwhelmed by her kindness as I opened the package this week. 

Thank you, Deb, for being so thoughtful and kind and overwhelming me with your generosity! 

straightness

This is what I looked like this weekend:

Yes, it only lasted the weekend.  It is/was not a permanent change to my natural curls. 

I went to get a hair cut on Thursday night, but the lady didn't know how to cut curly hair.  So, she first straightened it and then cut it.  Of course, I got the hair cut, after a massage and hair washing . . . so the entire process took about three hours, but only cost 14 USD (with no need to tip). 

I can't complain.